YES, I CAN'T!!

"I can't". Those were the words of my two year old grand daughter, Addyson, as she and her older sister and I competed in a rousing game of Candy Land the other night. I admit, the competition was getting pretty intense, and Addyson was falling behind, but rather than put up with this, she simply said, I can't, and no amount of coaxing, could get her to move her plastic player on the board. "Yes, you can", I cajoled---"you can do it, Addyson, just move your little doll". "No, I can't", period, end of story. She really meant, "I won't, I'm bored, and you are not the boss of me!" I love the fledgling independence of two year olds---they are not concerned with political correctness or explaining their preferences or opinions---it's enough to just say "no". I admired her growing sense of self and envied her freedom to speak her feelings. How I'd love to sometimes say with less trepidation, " I can't agree with you, can't laugh at that joke, can't support that, can't allow you to say that about my friend, can't play your game any longer! I'm done and done." But, that kind of freedom of speech doesn't always come easy as an adult . We learn to hide our feelings, so as not to make a scene, cause an awkward moment, hurt others, or embarrass ourselves.

In a movie titled" Liar, Liar" with Jim Currey, his character was cursed with having to always tell the truth, no matter what---the results were hilarious---and devastating. Editing ourselves and considering the consequences of our words are good things----sometimes; but other times, the withholding of words can be as egregious as giving too many or speaking too harshly. It is said that our eyes are the windows to our souls---but of course,our words are the messengers of our thoughts and the door through which we invite people in, or not. God bless those who find it difficult to express themselves; and likewise, God bless those who choose , and sometimes with great risk of rejection, to open their door,to share themselves through words, eloquently or not. Sometimes it is the only road to forgiveness,redemption, understanding, or just plain putting your "two cents worth in." I have a friend whose husband lost his speech due to a stroke. He has not spoken in several years, and is unable to communicate very much at all. Needless to say, this has altered their lives dramatically--and they had no choice in the matter. To speak is such a gift--to actually manifest our thoughts. To be articulate, that is to have the ability to transfer your thoughts accurately and beautifully, is a bonus gift, but not necessarily a sign of superior intelligence. Either you have it or you don't. George Bush did not have it. Barack Obama oozes with it. Well spoken or not, too little or too much, I love people who say what they mean and mean what they say---from the heart. Like little Addyson!

Addyson's complete honesty had a different side to it that evening--as she carefully examined my new shoes, she said, "I yike your shoes." That totally made up for her poor sportsmanship! That's the thing about two year olds---their honesty is never hurtful, because it's never ingratiating, malicious or mean--just truthful, from the heart, not the ego. Long live the courage and directness of two year olds---may it be awhile before they learn to say---"I'm sorry, but I have a migraine coming on---" instead of "I don't yike your game!"