Grit---You Got It??

"True Grit", a remake of an old John Wayne movie about taking on the raw ways of the old west,is showing nation wide and might be a good way to start your new year. We may need a little old fashioned American grit as we wander into the unchartered territory of 2011. As 2010 limps to its tired conclusion, most of us look eagerly, but tentatively for a clean new year to round the bend. What will it hold? Surely it will bring us better times--won't it? Uh,well---not necessarily, pardner--- and not so fast,either. The best opinions by economists seem to be that the economy, growing at around 2.3 percent is getting better, but not as rapidly as it should, given the deep hole we fell into and past history. And there are those who gloomily predict that it could get worse, which is why it isn't getting better faster than it is---nobody really knows, and uncertainty breeds caution. But we've been living like this for a couple of years now, and have to a degree adjusted our thinking and living habits. Credit card debt is down and saving if not up, is a goal. People are becoming accustomed to the idea that it's going to be a hard slog back to a healthy economy, and that the "American dream" will possibly no longer be achievable as we once knew it. Which begs the question--- Will we, in the push to regulate, tax, and distribute income become another Europe? Or are we developing a bit of what our ancestors and John Wayne and his "Rooster Cogburn" character had----true grit? And will that enable us to climb back into prosperity?

As I thought over the past year, I remembered someone with true grit---a very good friend, who visited our town to publicly tell his story of one of Oscar Schindler's youngest survivors. Our friend, Leon Leyson had always embodied kindness and gentleness; yet after hearing his story of living through the holocaust, I saw a different man---a very tough, resilient man who must have decided at one point, he would bend, but never break---he would and did survive as did so many other holocaust survivors. They went on to give life to over 7000 more of their own children and grandchildren--descendents of a people who hung on, even when it seemed all was lost. Leon, along with many other refugees immigrated to an America that helped to heal their hearts and allowed for dreams to come true. We were known as the "land of opportunity" like no other country. Leon went to school, got a degree, learned to speak English, worked hard, and has lived a very fulfilling and successful life. He had true grit--and a country that gave him a second chance.

True grit can be found even in a homeless person, who stripped of everything, still finds reason to go on. I see them more and more often, and admire their will to continue. While some may argue that we don't do enough for these people, with an improved economic climate and more prosperity comes more help. Charitable giving, of course decreases as the economy breaks down. It is interesting to note that studies have shown voluntary giving to be higher among those who advocate less government help and believe in self reliance--just the opposite of what one would think. Could it be that true grit is often accompanied by true compassion?

Grit is certainly found in countless victims of cancer or other diseases, who know the odds are against them, but continue to wage battles to a victory or sometimes defeat. They show incredible strength and even cheer in the face of illness and all manner of darkness--they refuse to break. They find reasons not only to go on, but to relish what's left of their journey. Having looked death square in the eyes, they turned defiantly away -- back towards the light. Some say that the quality to endure is due to certain genes, but could it be simply a choice one makes---to fight back, never give up, even if for just a little longer. I like to think that the American spirit is exemplified by these people---we do not give up without a fight, and it won't be the medicine of government aid that saves us---it will be our spirit that refuses to break.

A new book , "Unbroken" tells the story of Louis Zamperini, a true American hero with grit to spare. He showed that will to win as a marathon runner in the 30's, then as a world war two fighter airplane bombardier. On a mission to save fellow soldiers, he crash lands in the pacific. The 48 days he spends on a rubbery raft with three, then only one other survivor, tests his grit beyond any others who had similar experiences at that time. His fate gets worse as he is eventually rescued , but by the Japanese and then becomes a prisoner of war. It is an incredible story of survival and the spirit of a man who kept choosing to live, bend, grit his teeth and move on. One of the other two soldiers in Louie's raft did not make it. He was just as healthy, and fit---but he chose to give up.

True grit---do we have it as a nation anymore? Or have we become soft,spoiled by our past wealth as a country, and expecting others to care for our every basic need? And does that not breed even more softness? The coming year will surely bring opportunities to develop true grit----will we break into pieces of cynicism, self pity, and surrender? Or will we ride into the wind, guns of self determination blazing, and find ways to overcome our shaky economy and high unemployment?

I'm not much of good-bye girl, but I've already packed the sorry baggage of 2010---Adios, amigo. Like a good, but not particularly likeable side kick, you have given us many teachable moments, like a health care bill that may have been crafted with good intentions, but lacked the stability of deeper thought and more team effort; the oil spill, which caused huge damage, angst, and drama, but which cleaned up faster and better than the media would have us believe;and a mid term election, which was a desperate attempt to correct a one sided congress, the results of which we will see when congress convenes in January--- lessons hopefully learned. Hello 2011---can hardly wait to know you. C'mon in, stranger, sit yourself down, and let's see what you've got in mind for us. Don't be thinkin' we're down yet. We're at least a little tougher, smarter, and grittier than we were last year. We may have lost our way for awhile, but we'll find it again by the compass of our grass roots soul and our historic heritage to win. So, bring it on---as John Wayne once said, "Courage is being scared to death---and saddling up anyway." Happy trails, everybody! Grab your grit, and let's ride---

Christmas Crossroads---Danger Ahead??

So--- this was Christmas 2010 and the world seemed to have slowed as if to take a breath from the monumental and the mundane of world affairs. But still the world turns and behind closed doors and curtains of secrecy, events are taking place which will affect all of us in the year to come. Even now, before the new year begins, we have seen important legislation passed such as the extension of the Bush tax cut--for everyone. Thank you Republicans, and Mr. President for compromising on this controversial issue. At the same time, unemployment benefits will extend for another 13 months and our social security taxes will go down a little. All this is hoped to boost our still lagging economy, which seems inexhorably tied to the general mood of the public and the market place---anxious uncertainty about the future. While some indicators show a little up tick in consumer spending, corporations that drive big business and thus the market place are holding on to their capital. Even President Obama, who met with several business leaders, a.k.a "fat cats' in his earlier vernacular, was not able to persuade them to spend. Maybe they have a tiny problem with name calling. And after all, while he may be the CEO of the country, he's not a man who's ever lived in the business world, much less looked at a balance sheet and wondered whether he should order more widgets or hire more employees when he still has widgets left over from last year, and he's laid off most of his crew just to keep afloat this year.

The prospects for 2011 are not that clear or rosy looking. We want to feel optimistic, but when unemployment still hovers around 10 percent, we hear unsettling news of more and more states going broke, and our own budget and its advisors are insisting on cut backs, conservative spending, and a general attitude of austerity, it's hard to feel that "happy days" are here again. We have a ways to go. If we are to get our house in order, it appears there must be dramatic changes, yet the government continues to ignore this advice, simply printing up more money, and loading our debt to the hilt for the next generation.

Defeating the heavily earmark loaded Omnibus bill last weekend was a start in the right direction, but many more dramatic changes will have to be made. Pension plans, bonuses, and other generous state and federal employee benefits are all under heavy scrutiny as states like California are struggling to keep from buckling under their debt load. Is California the canary in the coal mine? Are we seeing a paradigm shift that could eventually change our entire structure of individual, independent states? It appears we are at a tipping point; yet the "lame duck" congress in a last ditch effort to win Democrat agenda victories, quite aptly pushed through legislation that has been on the back burner for months and which will add even more debt. They of course knew that the holiday urgency to get things done and wrapped up, gave them an edge in rushing through their bills without as much thinking and debate time as they should require. But did they not get the message,stated loud and clear at the last election? It is time to heed the warning signs and stop the out of control spending, even if it is dressed in well meant benefits for much deserving groups. The money simply isn't there, unless it is taken from other sources, which never seems to be acceptable. Europe and their staggering economies are showing us the result of too many government entitlements and is eventually unsustainable---like a boat that keeps taking on too many passengers, it will not continue to float and we may be left with a country we no longer recognize. Already, many feel that we are losing respect in the eyes of the international community, as they watch our financial house start to crumble and we continue to fight among ourselves over what to do about it. It would seem it is time for far fewer politics and more more merging of the minds to achieve practical solutions. But instead, we watch helplessly as our so called representatives continue playing politics at such a crucial moment in our history.

And as if we don't have enough to worry about---in a recent Time magazine article, editorialist, Mr. Zakaria wrote that he felt the over riding concern of the immediate future for America is something called microterrorism, or smaller attacks, and our seeming inability to come to terms with the insidious nature of the enemy. Scattered throughout the world, in places hard to control, prone to suicide bombs, and without western values, they are difficult to find and fight. They are determined to destroy not only us, but our entire way of life--- not necessarily by huge devastating events, but by slowly chipping away at our security,what the terrorists call "a thousand cuts" in order to "bleed us to death", rather than staging large scale events, such as 9/11. Mr. Zakaria depressingly goes on to predict that as technology allows more accessability to information, the violence will increase. It is a terrifying thought, and one we will have to grapple with in the coming years. This is not a problem that's going to go away or beaten back by traditional methods. It would seem we could better define our offensiveness by recognizing the enemy by calling them such and naming their attacks "war". But the current administration in an effort to play down the drama of the situation is against this type of labeling. We must be above this sort of childish behavior, it would seem is Obama's attitude. All well and good, if the stakes were not so high. Yet, the behavior goes on as we hear of many more thwarted and yet to be attempted attacks. Last year alone, according to the Department of Homeland Security, saw more acts of terrorism attempted in this country alone, than in any one previous year. Again, it would seem it's time to focus more on the reality than on the politics. At least, let's look the enemy in the eye, call him out for what he is, and finally become what we must-- even more acutely aware of the possible danger ahead, perhaps more pre-emptive, and just as determined as the enemy to win. But even if it means giving up some of our civil liberties? We, who fancy ourselves the "shining city on the hill", with freedom and justice for all-- perhaps now must fight to save ourselves with intolerance and suspicions for some? It is the great conundrum this nation now faces.

Bah-humbug? Sorry, but Christmas, 2010 finds us with little political good news to write home about. On the other hand, nobody promised us a "rose garden", did they? In spite of evil there are forces for good everywhere---while South and North Korea rattle their nuclear swords, we are working with Russia to encourage peace and minimize the manufacturing of nuclear war heads via the START treaty; and after years of discrimination, hate crimes, and endless debate, gays are finally not forced to lie when serving in our military. The repeal of "Don't ask, don't tell" was the right thing to do, is another huge step in the right direction. President Obama is to be commended on both of these peacemaking issues. We will all keep trying to get it all right, because that's who we are as a people. For all our faults,when you boil us down to our essence, our better instincts and desire to be good bubble to the surface and will guide and sustain us. As the full moon gazes placidly down upon us, and the winter solstice brings longer days which sends the message that light always overcomes darkness, we can hope that "happy days" will come again.

The webs that man weaves for himself are only that---webs of his own making. But the human spirit is not of our own making----it is divine in source, and can soar above earth's troubles and hope that all things will eventually work themselves out. Webs can be untangled, relationships healed, wars ceased---miracles can happen. Isn't that what Christmas is all about---"I bring you tidings of great joy-----"? Take a moment to consider the meaning of that message. The messenger went on to say, "Peace on earth, good will toward men".What a timeless thought---if the angels thought it possible, why can't we?

MIRACLE IN THE SKY---And the Return of Angel Unleashed

Angel looked down once more at her flock, shook her head sadly, and thought--I must return to them again. They are not doing well at all.Perhaps if they could see me as I really am, they would respond differently to their lives. Even though I wrap my wings around them, and whisper comfort in their ears, they fail to respond---they are lost in their own misery and fears.How can I reach them? There is that lovely girl, who worries incessantly about her weight, the boy who no one accepts because of his disability, the dad who cannot find a job, and so many who have simply lost their faith somewhere along the way. I must find a way to raise them from their unhappiness back into the light----but how? I am just a lowly angel.

Then, a thought occurred to Angel---she would allow them to see her, not as a human, but as an angel--born of light and goodness, a spiritual being, and she would tell them there is so much more to live---and to die for. But first I must seek permission. Hm-m-m-m, probably not going to happen--He doesn't like us showing off and up like that---too many imposters have given us a bad name. It seems ostentatious, almost cheesy to show up as if to say---hey, look at me---I'm an angel No, her idea to return as an angel would never fly, so to speak. She would have to think of something else.

A few weeks later, the world was celebrating Christmas---it was announced that in the very noble and historical interest of dividing church from state, there would be no displays of religious themes, songs, or church services---any where.The world had become completely secular, free from all religious trappings. There were still decorations, fun winter songs and plays like "The Nutcracker".But no mention of Christ, or the reason for his birth.

Christmas day, dawned bright and sunny all around the world---Angel had been working very hard. She had a plan, and she prayed that it would work to ease the burdens of those that would see something they had never seen before.


Angel was somewhat of an artist--of cloud arranging. The clouds were all stacked and ready to go, to be formed into one huge sky portrait. There were white clouds, and pink clouds, and grey clouds---all fluffy and soft. As she moved them into one huge pile, over the area of her flock, she quickly began to shape, sculp, and weave the clouds into one fabulous image-----When she was finished, the result was magnificent-----a choir of angels and in the middle, a large figure with his arms outstretched. Angel was so pleased with herself---she looked down at earth and saw to her devastating surprise that no one was paying any attention.The scene could only be seen from heaven's perch.

Frustrated and sad, she went to her Father----how can I show them we love them, and that they are in your hands? What can we do? The Father looked at the angel and said: "You are doing all you can by yourself----perhaps you should look for some earthly assistance."Have you heard of earth angels? Look for them---they exist, and are looking for ways to help."

And so she did---she deputised them by whispering in their ears while they were asleep, that they could make a difference. And so, even though they did not know it, they became part of Angel's army. She managed to cross their paths with those who were in need. The angel helpers gave comfort, aid, encouragement, love, and loyalty to all they met---and little by little the world became a little better place. The girl with the weight problem was befriended by one of them who told her to love herself for herself, and not how she looked; the boy no one liked suddenly found another boy who felt the same way, and a man who had lost his faith, one day wandered alone into a church. Beside himself with grief, sadness, and disillusionment, he sank to his knees, surrendered his doubts, prayed, and began to feel the lightness of believing again. Angel and her army were busy beacons of help during this time and in the dark of someone's night; and everyone they helped, helped someone else. To this day, they are everywhere, and show up unexpectedly just when you might need a helping hand, or an angel's touch.

But the following Christmas, the angel, undaunted, decided to try the cloud trick again --- this time, she wisely asked for some heavenly help. She recruited as many angels as she could, and then she asked God to assist----duh! Why had she not done this before? Sometimes, even angels get ahead of themselves. God doesn't always say yes,but He adored this angel. She was perky, persistant, even pesky, and, well, just a little theatrical. She never took no for an answer and she thought all things were possible--even a heavenly production. He had taught her well. And so He agreed to her rather dramatic plan, and together He and all the angels flipped the newly sculpted cloud over---and there it was---this absolutely gorgeous view of a heavenly choir, with breathtaking peeks beyond the clouds of pink mansions, golden streets and landscapes beyond imagination. Then suddenly God himself appeared and said " Behold, I am the Amighty, everlasting God, your Father. There are no other Gods before me. You are my people, and I sent my son, Jesus Christ, to show you the way home. It's as simple as that, and much more complicated than you may ever know. Believe---and love one another". And then, He disappeared. The clouds began to swirl and blur the entire montage, until they were once again only clouds.

The people stood dumfounded---what had just happened? Was it real, or was it some sort of weather phenomena? But there had been music as well--beautiful, peaceful music. It had filled their senses and made them weep. Eventually everyone dispersed and returned to their homes. They told everyone what they had seen and heard---but nobody believed them. It was just too much--and terribly politically incorrect. Christmas was no longer thought of as religious, and was not to be spoken as such in public. And so the miracle in the clouds gradually became only a story that the people who had witnessed it told only a precious few---and even they who had seen it began to think it had been a mirage, or some kind of group illusion brought on by too much dust and pollution. The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency, and now supposedly in charge of the entire world's climate) even took it upon themselves to build a new forest of wind mills in that particular area, and began research on how to rid the sky of so many clouds, which were interfering with the capturing of the sun's rays, to say nothing of this ridiculous story of a heavenly vision. The next thing you know, they said, people will begin to believe in angels.

The angel once again despaired-- She went to her Father and said, "What can we do to make them see the glory and the wonder, God?" God said---"In good time, my child, in good time. It is all around them. They look, but they don't see. They hear, but they do not listen. They must first open their hearts." The angel said,"How does that happen, Lord?" The Lord smiled and said, "I have people working on that---and you are one of them. The angel began to weep and gazed adoringly at her God----"I am your servant, my Lord, I will keep trying, but some of them are so lost---please find a way to bring them all home." The Lord smiled at his dear angel--- "You are getting a little ahead of yourself again. Now, be an angel, and go tend to your flock---they need you, and time is running out".

It happened that the next Christmas, in a certain town, on a certain day, a few people looked up at the sky and saw a most unusual cloud formation----there seemed to be a group of letters that drifted and gathered until they read----"Merry Christmas!! Love, Your Guardian Angel." One of the onlookers swore he saw something that resembled an angel perched on top of the highest letter of the highest cloud. She was smiling as she threw a kiss---twirled around once---and took a bow.

DID OBAMA BLINK?

It sure looked like it this week---when President Obama agreed to extend the Bush tax cuts for another two years for everybody, not just the middle class and including the very rich whom Obama had been targeting and villainizing for so long. But wait---there was a catch---the Republicans had to agree to a thirteen month extension of unemployment wages. You could call that a blink, but it seemed more of a nod--it wouldn't have looked good not to during this Christmas season, even though it's going to cost 56 billion dollars to fund it. Ah well, that's politics and what's another 56 billion? Yes, the Republicans came out ahead on this one. So, was it really a blink,on Obama's part--or was it a wink, that said, Okay, I'm busted. I'll give a little, you give a little, and we'll both live to fight another day? There are still plenty of issues ahead on Obama's agenda--the Health Care Bill, which is in danger of being revisited and revised, the START treaty with Russia, tougher or softer immigration laws , energy cap and trade controls, deep oil well drilling moratoriums on our shores, etc., etc. In order to move forward,Obama had to compromise and eat his rather smearing campaign words re "tax cuts for the wealthiest among us". But the rank and file left of left democrats are not at all happy with him, feeling he sold out to the "other side". President Obama, looking more like a politician eyeing his re-election prospects than a committed ideologist, stood firm and spoke double entendre words of wisdom on Mon., when he said, "it was the right thing to do." I wish he had really meant it was right not to raise taxes. For a brief moment in time,I naively thought he did and that maybe this man would finally learn to lead---I gave him points for standing up against some in his own party, and realizing that the time had come to rise above his own beliefs and do what he also promised to do--begin to stop the polarization so damaging to our country. But it has since become clear that he meant it was the right thing, the only thing he could do, given the "between a rock and hard place" situation he was in. It took a "shellacking" at the mid-term elections, for him to see that he wasn't going to become an effective President by forcing his will upon the people, and by shutting out the Republicans during the health care debate, and by making statements as he did to Senator John McCain ---"The campaign is over, John, and I won." His arrogance was constant and disturbing. But has he really changed? Or was he simply a man who knew when to fold his cards until the the next deal comes around? His comments to the press and his constituents since Monday have indicated he'll be back with a vengeance.

For now,we see a President with a very low approval rating, attempting to stop the hemorrhaging of his weakening presidency and a lame duck congress. He must compromise, negotiate, and listen, perhaps more than ever he has before. This is the big time, not Chicago politics, and we're not a community to be organized. If that means disappointing some of the people who put him where he is, Obama must risk their wrath. Perhaps, all of them should realize, that being President transcends playing favorites---the office of the President of the United States was never actually meant to steer the ship of state with only his own idialogical flag. If he wants all hands on deck, all rowing somewhat together, so that we can get someplace, he must inspire and make us believe once again that he wants what many of us want---an America we can be proud of again. Some call this belief in our particular brand of patriotism, "exceptionalism". Is that so bad? Do we not deserve that title? We have, since our inception, stood for a breed of people and government the likes of which no other country had achieved. We were different. Free of an over reaching government, our anscestors gladly took on the responsibilities of making their own way, not continuously looking for assistance or hand outs We became a strong, resilient, optimistic, and respected country, able to lead and share our wealth and technology with others. We became great, not by trying to be like other countries, but by allowing for as much individual freedom to flourish as possible, thereby nurturing strength and independence from the bottom up. By daring to care for ourselves, rather than leaning on a big nanny, demanding, ever more taxing government, we became the envy of the world. Now, as we deal with an economic crisis and frighteningly high unemployment, our true metal is being tested again. Severe budget cuts are on the horizon, and all of us will have to sacrifice in some way. But giving the government more and more money to spend as they see fit, and driving us more and more into debt is not the answer.

Whether for reasons of diplomacy or survival,President Obama has taken the first step since his presidency to show that he can compromise-- unbelievable and impressive, given his past record. But if he expects to be more than a one term president, he may have to do a lot more than compromise. His economic policies have failed, Obamacare is extremely unpopular, and our international relationships are growing weaker. To be great sometimes means to step aside, to listen, and to lay down your mantle of power so that others may speak. Obama has been good at doing this with other countries--now he must do it with his own. He may or may not do this in the future---but it appears this week's decision was not so much a compromise, or even a strategic move, as it was a decision made because there was no other choice when faced by a mandate made clear at the last election-- a huge push back that said, no more taxes, Mr. President. No more entitlements, no more stimulus, and ix-nay on your ideas of spreading the wealth via taxes of any kind.

We may need to make some changes, but not perhaps what you had in mind. Here's what many of us have in mind--- for now, knock off the class warfare bit. It's getting a little tiresome, and most of us realize the rich pay their fair share. Do what you were elected to do---protect, lead, but don't divide by pitting us against each other by continuously using words like "fight" and "hostage taking by the Republicans" when referring to the heretofore stalled bill on extending unemployment benefits. We believe that we can rise again if you will stop trying to reinvent us into something we never intended to be--if not a socialist government, it's simply too close for comfort. If this week's decision was a blink--we'll take it. It it was a nod, we'll take that. We'll even give you another chance, if you move more to the center. But if Monday's language was a wink that really said,'I had to do it guys, but I'll be back for much more'---Katie, bar the door! Game on.

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I WANT TO HEAR?

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day"---I love that song, and wish every year that I could hear those bells. Where are they? Did the author hear them from the sky, on the street, or in his head? December has arrived, and with it, all the signs of Christmas. We are still in low gear, but the pace will quicken as time moves frantically towards the big day, but the little days leading us forward are worth noticing. Our street is lit up like a Christmas tree--lots of them, as it turns out. People seem to like our " white lights only" street, and they drive slowly up and down, gazing at our attempt to light the night with cheer, and elegance. The stores are decked out too, in all their holiday finery--and the only bells I hear are the sound of cash registers, ca-ching, ca-ching--- buy, buy. Then on the way home, I hear the Salvation Army bells, as they ring sweetly outside my grocery store----maybe those are the ones. They are saying "give, give"---a nickel, here, a dollar there, and every year an anonymous someone drops in a gold piece---atonement for the rest of our paltry offerings? I always wonder who gives so selflessly without wishing for or needing any recognition---a present day good samaritan, for sure.

The news continues to reflect a troubled world, where wars and talk of more wars have become common place. Good tidings? Not many this year. Add to the Christmas news stew a man by the name of Julian Salange, who fancies himself an heroic journalist with a lust to expose all the secrets that go on behind closed military and political doors, has chosen to publish private documents, which could in turn seriously weaken foreign relations everywhere. Of course, he claims to have only noble transparency in mind. But he cares not about the consequences---a little self serving man, attempting to become big by potentially sacrificing many. Unlike the anonymous donor, he craves publicity.

For now, the Christmas season reminds us that there is still reason for joy and hope for better times, and much of that hope lies within all of us. If you live in a small town, as I do, homeless people are not often seen, though we do have them. They are everywhere, and on a very cold night, recently, one of them in plain sight, froze to death. No one had stopped to help. People do not readily speak of their misfortunes . They are suffering silently, but sometimes you will see a sign of distress. Today as I stopped my car at a stop light , a young woman on the side of the road, with a piece of lettered cardboard held to her chest approached---the words said something about her daughter being ill. The light changed as I started to reach for my wallet, and so I drove off instead and glanced at the woman, embarassed that I had not found a way to help. I smiled apologetically at her as I drove by, expecting a scowl or worse. She smiled back as though she understood. That was the second time that day I had passed a person with a cardboard sign, begging for help----but the fear of strangers getting too close, and years of conditioning not to help those who appear able to help themselves, stopped me from stopping to help. I promised myself to find a way to go back soon and lend something besides a sorry glance. I was hearing no bells, only the sound of my own conscience---"you could have done better". There are people who do---I personally know someone who regularly goes out of his way to help a man who cannot help himself, and who welcomes a night in jail just to get a bed and a meal for one night. My friend stays in touch with this man, who is mentally ill, and offers support and a bit of money to get him by. When I asked my friend how he had happened to meet this needy, seedy person---he said, he had just crossed his path one day----and he stopped to help.

Last week, as I was walking, I heard an adult voice say "I like you". I turned to see a mentally and physically challenged woman speaking to another lady who was helping her up a curb. The helper replied, "Thank you, I like you, too." I don't know who seemed more beautiful at the moment, the helper or the helped, who was not too proud to speak words of affection. Those words were somehow, if not bells, the sound of Christmas , and they gave me a lift as I went on my way. Christmas is coming ---but it's already here all around us. Look for it everywhere and let it find you in unexpected places--even by the side of the road. Rejoice in the smaller moments. Stop or bend to help another. Do you hear what I long to hear-- above the hustle bustle, the over riding sense of aching to feel the joy, but not quite getting there? Over and beyond the bittersweet memories of Christmases past, the wishing for a cozy Norman Rockwell painting Christmas, the empty lonliness for people no longer with us, the sadness for all those so in need and seemingly beyond our reach? I strain to hear ,above it all , the bells of Christmas---clear, pure, and sweet, pealing truly good news and imploring us to listen---and to stop.

"I did what I could, what I had to do, what my conscience told me to do"
Oskar Schindler

CONVERSATION WITH A PRO

Hello, God---it's me again. I'm still here---thank You for that. You are very quiet lately. Are You still there? Perhaps You are wondering what to do with us. Things aren't much better this year, as You have probably noticed. The terrorists haven't given up on us ---they want us gone. But we're fighting back by profiling each other ---wouldn't want to insult the terrorists by singling them out. Our economy is still pretty much in the tank, and nobody seems to know what to do about it--do You? This week North Korea bombed South Korea, which may be the start of something big. Other nations aren't doing so well either, especially Haiti, where cholera is running rampant. On the bright side, Prince William, of England, announced his betrothal to Kate, a commoner of uncommon style, looks, and background. This was particularly good news, as we hear that the institution of marriage is going out of style, and in another decade or so, weddings and lifetime commitments will be passe, a thing of the past, gone ---like waiting to get married before having a child. We're very progressive these days, and are doing away with anything not convenient or to our liking. And You'll be interested to note that Bristol Palin daughter of the much loved/hated politico, Sarah Palin, did not win the Dancing with the Stars competition-----everybody is happy. I don't know how it is up there, but we like our winners to be real, with the right stuff---popularity contests are not us---no Sir, we are purely motivated and highly discriminating when it comes to dance contests . Elections are a different matter, however. Experience and skill sets don't seem to count as much then---if we like 'em, we vote for them. Period.

So, for now, we continue to float quietly, gently, surely through space----if only we could enjoy the peace of that ride. What's that? You wish us to be happier and less stressed? Easy for You to say. Forgive my impudence---what is Your secret for remaining calm in the face of all our problems? Something called "hope"? For us? So, You haven't given up on us yet---you still believe? And we should ---believe that all things are possible? If You say so---guess You should know. But I wouldn't bet Your eternity on us--we're an unruly. rascally bunch. We all believe something different, everybody thinks they're right--- we're a virtual "tower of Babel", speaking many languages, with assorted religions, going in different directions. But what can I do? I'm just one small person. You've heard the expression, "like trying to herd cats"? I can't imagine how You can hope to manage us all anymore. We seem lost, astray. Yes? You say You don't give up easily? But You need my assistance? Oh---I don't know my Lord, I'm not Your best choice----I'm worn, broken in some respects, dubious, questioning,---and very sassy. You'll use me the way I am? Okay, then. I'm in--- reporting for duty. Show me how to help.What? A local soup kitchen? A nursing home? The unkempt homeless man on the corner? The spiteful neighbor next door? The family member I haven't spoken to in years? Well,----that's pretty heavy duty stuff--I mean, Haiti might be easier. I have a very full schedule --busy, busy. Certainly, you can find someone better suited for the job. But thanks for caring, and believing against all odds that things will get better. Gotta run----You might want to keep an eye on North Korea, though---just a thought.

Nice chatting with you. Thanks again for still being there. Please don't despair. Think of us as Your work in progress. Surely,You'll come up with something---after all, we're not Your first rodeo. You know, I can see You now--- Oh, my God, You are beautiful, magnificent, awesome. I had no idea---- but why the tears?

PICK YOUR POISON---PAT DOWN,PICTURE, OR THE OTHER "P" WORD???

Desperate times call for desperate measures---are we getting too desperate about our security and are you ready for the current wave of public outcry regarding airline travel and the accompanying body search precautions? Or perhaps I should say, are you ready for the next invasion of your privacy----make that a literal invasion of your privacy. "Would you prefer a very thorough pat-down, Sir, or a very complete and revealing x-ray of your entire, naked body?" One man has already revolted, and may get a hefty fine to remind him of his lack of rights when traveling by air. And now comes the news that Muslim women may not have to be searched below their necks--for religious reasons, don't you know. Talk about public outcry---if Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security Secretary, lets this one pass, she may feel not only the wrath of the American public, but the airline industry's as well, if people resort to other means of travel---and even the pilots, themselves, refuse to fly under such conditions.

As I write , this issue is escalating at jet like speed. Law suits have already been filed, and the debate is raging. Has the American public finally reached a boiling point regarding just how much they will tolerate and trade off for their security? As so often happens, the crux of the matter finally becomes apparent, as the outer layers of protest peel away the more obvious objections----yes, it's incredibly invasive, highly indignant, arguably humiliating, and totally against all that we stand for in our freedom loving society----and that brings us to the very thing we, as a country most abhor---the thought of a "police state" becoming ever more possible, as little by little, security measure by measure, necessary mandate by mandate, we give up our rights---in this case, our very personal rights. It is not only counter to all that we stand for, but ironic that in order to protect our way of life, we must give up much of what makes us who we are. But is there not a different, better way to ensure that people with evil, destructive motives and means, are not boarding our planes with us? Already, theTransportation Security Administration is considering altering and easing the new pat down and x-ray procedures in response to the public controversy. However, to put it bluntly--- if a plane blows up in the sky, will we not wish we had done any and everything we could to avoid such a horrific assault? We have to do, what we have to do. Right? That is the premise, the argument, and the trigger for the pat down and x-ray procedures we now face. But have we actually done all that we can do? Like the elephant in the room, there is another obvious. but not so palatable alternative.

And now we have come to the real, not so pretty, nor politically correct core of the debate--- its name is" passenger profiling". Israel does it quite successfully. But we have been more than
reluctant to use this method, even as we stared at the black, horrific hole of 9/11 and an enemy we knew was not done with us yet. To profile was to discriminate and tread upon our very sacred laws of civil rights. There are many who still feel this way. It tears unhistorically into the fabric of our culture and our values, and so we have been willing to allow all of us to be profiled, rather than just a suspicious few---grandmothers, children, wheelchair passengers, and now even our airline crews, all are subjected to the same scrutiny. But perhaps we have arrived at a point of being forced to look with a cold and pragmatic eye at our limited choices, as the terrorists overcome our security barriers, and back us into a corner. Some say they will have won, if we become a nation of suspicious paranoid profilers. But have they not already won on a larger scale, as we all, like sheep, succumb to allowing our very private selves to be probed and x-rayed? The argument will include those who say profiling will not work, as the terrorists begin to recruit those who do not fit the stereo-typical mold. And that is true, but not yet or in very many cases. Time is still on our side.and perhaps we should use it while we can. It would seem a huge deterrent to implement at least some sort of profiling in order that not all of us are denied our basic personal freedoms. Perhaps it is time to get mad, get real, and say like the character in the long ago movie--"we're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore." If that means profiling , then hopefully we can be forgiven our attempt to protect ourselves without bowing to draconian methods. It is the price of admission, and it is what it is. War? If not, it's close enough. Pat down or picture, Sir, or Ma-am ,or child? Neither, thank you--- not if there's another way. Desperate times call for desperate measures----

IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH???

Just saw "Hereafter", the new movie by Steven Spielberg and starring Matt Damon--. It was a nice respite from the political whirl we find ourselves in this month. The movie was about a man who seemingly could connect with the departed and even have brief conversations with them---conversations! See? A good chat may even go on after life---we really need to keep honing our skills!

The real crux of the story, however, was of the heartbreak of losing a loved one, and the yearning to re-connect, if only for a moment, and even if it's using someone else as a go-between. We cannot seem to accept the finality of death, and our hearts break over and over again as life dishes out the good-byes, one by one. It is the fate of our humanity that we live to die, but it is in our DNA to resist and rail against it, even though we know it is inevitable. But in the movie, one of the characters has a near death experience, in which she catches a glimpse of life hereafter. She knows it is true, and it changes her perspective and the direction of her life. There have been many who have written books on this issue, and most accounts of near death experiences are very similar. The scientific jury is still out on this topic, with some saying, the visions of a life after death are attributable to chemical and physical changes that happen to our bodies as we disengage from them. Still, the stories keep coming, and they bring with them intrigue, hope, and joy. Some even report that they did not want to return to this existence, as the one they had seen was indescribably better.

The movie depicts much of the sadness, stress, and turmoil of this life, but ultimately the happiness that is found in relationships that make being human so worthwhile---the exquisite love between a child and mother or a sibling--and of course, the magical love of two people who find each other and know that they belong together. But when separation happens, the pain can be almost unbearable for those who are left behind. And so, we seek solace in imagining and hoping for life after death---where we will meet our loved ones again---and sometimes even before, as depicted in the above mentioned movie. It's a dicey deal to make contact with the spirit world, and no one has ever proven it can actually be done. We are God's children, but we are also of the earth----heaven must wait, and so must we.

We are made for life's long journey----resilient and tougher than we know. Our hearts may break, but still we move on, heal, and love again. Most of us cling tenaciously to life, right on to the end, though I have a friend that insists that if she ever is afflicted with Alzheimer's, she will do away with herself---I hope she forgets to do it. It's not nice to return a gift, and I think it is written somewhere that there are no returns or refunds. But it does seem unfair, unjust, and even illogical that we should have to be extinguished at some point---and that is the great question of our existence. Why? For our sins? For some great cosmic plan? And what happens after our last breath? Many faiths offer answers, but no one knows for absolute certain. If only we could know that death is just a door to be walked through--if only someone could return and tell us so--according to the Christian faith, someone has. His name was Jesus Christ. We can either choose to believe it or not. When my father passed, I was there. I can tell you that even before he took his last breath, I knew without a doubt that he was undergoing a spiritual change---I could see it, feel it, and was awed by it. He had been transformed before he took his last breath, and it was crystal clear----it was as though I was seeing through to his soul. He was still my dad, but such a different version of him. I suppose you can say that my own personal beliefs colored my witness of that incident, and maybe you would be right---but I wasn't looking for and thinking of anything other than ways to comfort my dad in his last hours. I was profoundly changed by what I saw---and given hope and peace that there is a plan and a place for us, after all, and after here. Perhaps the many reports of life after death are God's way of telling us--"Do not worry, you are not alone, I am here---and I am waiting for you." And quite likely he might add----"Get your act together---and for God's sake, stop fighting, whining, and worrying incessantly. Enjoy the here, do your best, take care of each other, and I'll take care of the after."

As a child I was warned to stay away from the world of witch craft and fortune tellers----and I have. I was taught that there is indeed a spirit world, but that not only the good inhabit it----and we'd best keep our distance from it all. Ouiji boards even scare me. I have never tried to contact the dead, nor do I plan to. Movies about exorcisms make me want to hide under the bed. I prefer to keep my focus among the living. Recently a local fortune teller was found murdered----apparently she didn't see it coming---or her husband, who is now accused of the crime. If he did it, he's going to have some serious 'splainin' to do, and I hope his wife is waiting for him at the pearly gates----but more than likely, someone else will beat her to it. And He may have already chastened her for messing with His territory-----our job is to live this life to the best of our ability, and I like to think most of us are doing the best we can; His job is to show us the way home someday. May we all get there, and may we be met at those gates with a God who is more loving than judgemental, more kind than just, and who will greet us then with perhaps ---"Welcome, to the Hereafter, otherwise known as "Forever". I hope He likes to chat---'cause I've got lots of questions. But then, maybe He'll have a few for me---

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN---ARE YOU LISTENING, PRESIDENT OBAMA??

The American people are often referred to knowingly by politicians, as if they can read our minds and we're some kind of portable entity that can be handed around and used to their advantage. "The American people want ---this, or that", and of course it's always whatever the politician is trying to advance. Well, the people themselves, have now spoken---loud and clear. Make that loud, maybe not so clear--at least not to Pres. Obama. The message that got through was that things have changed since he took office. No longer the wildly popular man who was going to make everything better, President Obama looked chastened and tired as he gave his speech---but he did not seem to get the gist of the message the majority of voters sent. As though he couldn't bear to admit to wrong decisions and policies, he repeatedly stated that this defeat was due to the fact that he had not communicated his policies clearly enough---it isn't the clarity that's missing, Prez--- we get it. The question is: Do you? Whether it's the ailing economy, the continued over spending, the threat of higher taxes, or the very unpopular health care bill, or all of the above, this is a president and a country that's in trouble---and the people responded the only way they could--- with votes that screamed NO----we are not happy with the situation. Do something else, or we will replace you. It's a tough job, but you asked for it. Well, now is the time to show us what you're really made of. It is true, we handed you a mountain of problems as you entered the presidency, but it seems you added to them, perhaps even used them to build your own brand of government with the rationale that such things had to be done to save the country. The result has been a loss of confidence in you and in the direction you are taking us.You can start by losing the combative words, such as suggesting the Republicans "sit in the back of the car" "hand to hand combat"( a reference to how the congress will have to operate if the Republicans gain more power"), and simply allowing others to disagree without fear of public humiliation (Supreme Court Judge Roberts). You could also begin to make all of us feel more included in your circle, instead of referring to some of us as "the folks on the other side". You are the president of all us "folks"!

Whether President Obama finally hears the depth of desperation and outrage expressed by the majority of voters remains to be seen. Will he lead, according to what the majority wants, or just ask us to obediently follow his dictates? Is he capable for the purpose of rescuing himself and his party from a defeat in 2012, of being more pragmatic driven and less idealogical? If he is, then we will see a shift to the center; if not,we may see the very rapid demise of this once phenomenally popular president. This has got to be a tough decision for a man not accustomed to giving in and compromising. It is not his style, nor has he experienced the give and take that goes on in corporations, businesses, and even the Senate, where he served only for a short time. To add to his problems, there is the tug and pull within in his own party ---the extreme left, who feel he hasn't done enough to advance their agendas for bigger government, and those who are more moderate and think he has gone overboard. At some point, he will have to decide which way he will lead, and therein lies his destiny---and ours, perhaps, as well.

This mid term election was not just about the issues facing this country. The passion and over- all interest seems to indicate that it was at least just as much, maybe even more, a battle over ideologies. The deep divisions within this country go a lot deeper than the economy, though that is symtomatic of problems that need to be addressed. We are at this time, perhaps more than ever before, divided between two differing philosophies of governance--it's very simple---more or less government in our lives. It is time to make that decision, and the fight is on. The Republicans will now lead the charge for less government. There are those who believe there is no time for the Republicans to try to "go along, to get along", as is so typical in Washington politics, because too much has already happened to alter our traditional government, and that Obama's liberal agendas must be dramatically slowed or halted. It may not be advisable for the Republicans to play nice this time---the conservatives, with the tea party activists adding heavy influence, are watching. Ironically, if the Republicans choose to be more moderate against this very left leaning administration, they may be digging their own graves. Meanwhile, the Democrats are licking their wounds and already gearing up for the next election , with Obama leading the way--and at the same time challenged to dial down the divisive rhetoric and keep peace, or at least a civil tone with everyone----an impossible mission? There are those who have done it, like Clinton and Reagan. If Obama fails to complete his mission---he may be toast next time around. It all makes for the most exciting game in town---you gotta love politics!

Let us hope that we all find a way to keep our heads and our hearts steady as we go. We are in the midst of a huge narrative being discussed and written for all of us----will we retain our constitutional values and way of life, or will we dramatically change course and become more European in the way we choose to be governed? May we not lose sight of our original spirit and purpose---to be as independent as possible, while still caring for those who need it. And may we not forget that , unlike Obama's recent slip of the tongue would imply ---none of us are the" enemy". We are one people forging a way into a rather precarious future, with these common hopes---survival, and a quest to live well and free. However you feel, now is the time to join the "story" as it is being written. Become part of the dialogue-----because it's not "just politics" anymore. It's all about us and our children's life styles. economic well being, and even their security. Think about it, talk about, and let your opinions be known---so that the story of us will include and be the result of an informed, actively engaged public---not just some politician's idea of what "the American people" think or want.

BEWITCHED???

Have you ever felt bewitched---by someone or something? Well, it's never too late---and the most bewitching of days is almost upon us. Halloween, where anyone can become anything is almost here. To become a witch is one thing---but to become bewitched is quite another. The dictionary defines "bewitching" as being captivated or totally fascinated, as in under a spell, or like magic. Is that what happens when we "fall in love"? When your world turns from black and white to brilliant techn-nicolor? When your heart sings, and your feet want to dance? Probably, but there are other kinds of bewitchment---the birth of a child, your dream home, your first glimpse of a lovely new country, even a new idea or a new friend can totally bewitch and enchant. us out of ourselves into a state like no other. Frank Sinatra sang of it so convincingly with his song, "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered", and you get the impression that he liked the feeling----we all do. It's part of who we are in that we want to be taken from ourselves and into something else---but finding the bewitchable becomes harder as we grow older, more skeptical, and cynical. And so, we begin to lose the ability to become totally charmed or captivated by anyone,thing, or idea. Only occasionally do we allow ourselves to fall away into the spell of a beautiful song, or a sunset, or a person. We hold onto ourselves, as though we might give away too much and not be able to retrieve it, or someone might think we are too generous, loving, or even needy. And that is sometimes a good thing.

Bewitchment can even happen on a large scale to a country. In 2008, a very charasmatic black man with a strange name and very different background from the typical American, completely captivated a large portion of the American imagination Outside of having served in the Senate for a short time, he was a virtual stranger to most of us. But what he said and how he said it inspired the hopes and dreams of many----this man became our next and current president of the United States. When one would ask why someone voted for this virtual unknown, they would simply say, "I like him." No facts or policy beliefs were given as reasons, other than they were very disenchanted with George Bush, and the Iraq war. That was it--- It was as though , in spite of insufficient knowledge of Barack's substance, they wanted to align themselves with this almost magical force that was sweeping the country. Obama became not only the man of the hour, but some called him the "messiah", the savior of a weary country. We were, many of us, completely bewitched by this man and his fresh, cool syle. How long will the spell last? Obama is still liked personally, but his political popularity has dropped dramatically. This was a case of a whole country , or at least a majority, becoming so attracted to their idea of a man they barely knew, that they arrived at a point of adoration---enough to sweep him into office, against all odds. Bewitchment happened ---then reality set in. Obama was beset by huge problems and too many warring philosophies as to how to fix them. In the end, he seemed to fail completely to satisfy anyone, including those who were on his side from the beginning. The spell appears to have been broken, and now, as President Obama, watches his magic disappear, he still struggles to re-capture earlier believers with his speeches. It remains to be seen if he will once again find a way to bewitch, or even better, show us by his actions and his words that he is a leader we can truly all follow and trust. That may not be so magical, but it would be bewitchment of a different kind---- faith and loyalty to a man who shows he can transcend even his own esoteric views to serve a whole country, not just a piece of it.

Recently, I attended a symphony which featured music by Beethoven. You could feel the audience warming, becoming totally appreciative, and finally bewitched. Their standing ovation was their way of saying "thank you, not only for the music, but for carrying us away for awhile. But there are those who feel certain kinds of music, such as heavy metal, rock 'n roll, or rap can impact, bewitch, if you will, our children in a negative way.
So, even music, the universal language demands our scrutiny.

Every now and then, in our own smaller circles, someone, even a complete stranger comes along and lights up a moment or longer with their smile, or their attitude, or their delightful personality. Celebrities and athletes often fall into this category. You want to be in their company, to bask in their light, and see the world through their cheerful prism. Choose your object of bewitchment carefully. Children, on the other hand, with their zest for life sprinkle magic on our lives. So do good books, wonderful pets, supportive friends and spouses. We are the magic for each other. I look for it every day, and sometimes find it; other times I simply long for it. I want to be bewitched, to know that feeling of leaving myself, off to another sphere of reality where I no longer care what anyone thinks, or how I look, or anything at all. I am in the zone of a magical feeling-----bewitched, beyond ego, and blissful to the point of a peace that comes when one is resonating with the joy of complete surrender to something or someone. I feel it when my grand daughters rush into my arms to give me a hug. or when I catch a first glimpse of the sea after a long absence, or when I hear the voice of a beloved friend who calls every now and then, and a million other little things that have very little to do with material wealth and everything to do with satisfying the part of us that knows we are more creatures of spirit than body. That spirit wants to adore, loves to laugh, love, and share with another in the exquisite synergy that occurs when one is bewitched. It reminds us of our quest for joy, out of ourselves, free of anything that keeps us from being complete and burdened by life's cares and stress---we are broomless, but over the moon with a magical spell called happiness. It only comes in dribs and drabs, for we are bound to earth with responsibilities, boundaries, cares, and stress, but once a year, an opportunity for it knocks on your door---- it's Halloween and it says to all who would listen, c'mon out and play, pretend, feel the magic. I used to know a lady who was the mom of a good friend. Every Halloween she would dress as a very believable witch and go door to door by herself, long after her children had grown beyond trick or treating, laughing and cackling. It was a neighborhood tradition, and we all thought she was a little bit, well--- eccentric. She probably was, but maybe she knew something we didn't---we're never to old to be be-witched!

Enjoy your Halloween----may you even become a little bewitched with all the little goblins and not too irritated with the larger, older ones, knowing that they, too, need to pretend. Maybe you'll even even become a witch, instead of bewitching! But come next Tues. Nov. 2, it's time to return to reality----vote and vote without bewitchment---because this one is, if not for all the marbles, many of them. Do we want a government to be our nanny, our caretaker, our big brother? Or do we want a government that allows for more individual freedoms and business and free enterprise, the life blood of our economy, to flourish without so much government interference that it chokes on it and finally dies? Whatever happens, may we finally begin to be a nation once again proud, healthy, strong, and a leader among nations, not one to be chastised and apologetic for who we are. That's not us for long---bewitched, maybe, but not without an antidote---it's called a blow-back, followed by a come back, or the generic term----voting. "Witch" ever you choose, may God bless America, as we grope forward in the present darkness of this slogging economy---trick or treat??

A BATTLE FOR POWER BEGINS-----VOTE!!!!

Here we go again---election time, USA style, is upon us. Are you enjoying all the very biased political ads? The insulting TV commercials? The recorded nuisance phone calls by various and assorted politicians or survey takers? It's all part of the game called politics, but this year it's serious business, even though it's just the mid-term election. The balance of power is hanging in the balance, as many seats in both the Senate and the House are up for grabs Obama and administration are running scared, as they face heavy criticism about the state of the economy, worsening unemployment, and the still very dubious health care bill. All predictions point to the Republicans winning landslide victories in the upcoming races---but don't count on it yet. President Obama is not about to fold his cards, and is once again on the campaign trail trying to make his now very familiar case that the country's woes are all the Republicans' fault, and that given more time, he and his heavily slanted congress will fix what's broken. Perhaps, but Americans can be a fickle people, falling in love with a President for awhile, then becoming disenchanted and even bitter if they feel he is not the man they thought he would be. Many feel that while he may need more time, what he's shown so far is not to their liking---the change has been too much, and the hope has never materialized. Instead, we've been given a heavy dose of, if not socialism, then the next thing to it, with government being given more and more power as a fix for all that is wrong. The feeling in some quarters is that we can't afford to allow Obama and his extreme left wing medicine much more time. Things are moving too swiftly in the wrong direction, and perhaps now, as never before, the Republicans and even some Democrats feel it is urgent to swing the balance of power at least more to the middle before it's too late, and we are then stuck with legislation that will be harmful and too difficult to remove for years to come.

Many presidents, including President Clinton, when faced with a disapproving public, moved more compromisingly to the center of the political spectrum, but Obama is not a "centrist", and perhaps may never become one. He is a man who believes so ferociously in his convictions and his vision of America that he is willing to gamble even his political future and that of his party on them. He feels in his gut that he is doing the right thing for the general good, and appears to have no intentions of being swayed. Instead, in an effort to stave off the tsumani of predicted defeat within his ranks, he continues to rail against the right, even making false and unsupported statements, to convince voters to once again believe in him, most recently demonstrated by his remarks regarding the United States Chamber of Commerce, a non-profit lobbying organization for businesses in the U.S., accusing them of using "foreign monies" to finance ads against him. Upon investigation of this charge, there was absolutely no evidence of foreign money being used for campaign financing. It was a careless, unsupported criticism, made by a president who was looking for a way to disrepute his opponents. Yes, there are other politicians from both sides who have committed the same sin of baseless accusations; however, it seems the president should be above this kind of rhetoric. But, no matter, this is a man with a radical world view quite different from any previous president, and a steely determination to drive it home, including the abuse of power once in a while. Instead of moving more to the center, he digs in even more, and announces to us during a speech that the reason we are worried is that we are fearful, and that our judgement is therefore clouded. Is this not a sign of arrogance? Does he think he is smarter and wiser than all of us? Should he speak so condescendingly to our concerns? And is this the hallmark of a man who feels he knows best, in spite of philosophical differences to the contrary, and will continue to rule with a hard hand and unbending might---as he did with the passage of the health care bill, which was obviously a work of forced legislation, even among his own skeptical party members? Is it "my way, or the highway", that regardless of whether he and his party go down, he will pridefully feel he has succeeded, because his views were implemented, like them or not, and he will have changed the course of this country's destiny? The stakes are high, and there are, indeed, those from both parties who are fearful, not only about this country's future, but their own as well. But for now the Dems seem to be obediently marching lock step to their leader's rallying cry---"don't let them drive our car back into the ditch!"

The Republicans, on the other hand, have a lot to worry about as well. Unlike the Dems, they do not all bow to one master or one platform of ideas. They seem to have the opposite problem, in that they do not seem to have a cohesive message . The grand old party has become unwieldy, and without any clear leader. Their views range from moderate to conservative to extreme right wing and they can't seem to get their act together. In the meantime, the Tea Party Express does have one main message---"throw the bums out" seems to be it. They have no trouble making themselves clear--much less government control is their chief rallying cry, and they are not afraid to say so. Already they are threatening to become a third party by their sheer ever growing numbers. This does not bode well for the Republicans, but perhaps it's time for them to morph into a more effective choice of contrast against the ever left leaning Democrats. Though labeled "the party of no" by the Democrats, they have been rendered practically powerless by the onslaught of bills passed which give the government historic control. It has been laughable to hear them described as "obstructionists" by President Obama and those of his party. How can they obstruct such a majority of Democrats in the congress? They can push back, make noise, hold filibusters, but they cannot, at the end of the day, hold back the will of a one partisan machine. And perhaps, therein lies the seeds of discontent now making itself known in the country----the imbalance of power is making a lot of us uncomfortable.

The country has gone through many presidents and many pendulum swings of policies and ideologies, and we at heart kind of like it that way. So did our founding fathers, who designed our government in such a way to keep us balanced ----but have we lost our balance? At this point in time, the pendulum seems to have swung too far, too fast---and President Obama is right when he says we are afraid--- but we will be the judge of our reasoning. He and his party were elected to lead, but not to pull and push us over the edge of our concerns. Lockstep isn't our style. Neither is a one sided government for very long. But the votes are not in yet. Much can still happen, as each party girds for the battle about to ensue---split tickets, independent and minority voters, attack ads from both sides, complacency,world events, and yes, even a president who may yet undergo an epiphany and decide to change and begin to speak more inclusively, instead of dividing us into the "they's" and "we's". And the most important unknown? The true American mind. Polls are just polls, and don't always reflect the heart and soul of a nation.

We are a nation deeply polarized. But Americans have a way of sorting through things. We may be fickle, but we are true to our belief in ourselves and the fact that it is our country, and does not belong to any one party or one president. It is ours to mold and shape and become what we, in all our diversity, will create. That's what elections are all about----the coming together of the people to speak---many voices, but one clear mandate---we will decide for ourselves, and we will have the last say. Be sure to let your voice be heard--vote on November 2cnd!!!!

BULLIES IN OUR SCHOOLS, HOMES, AND POLITICS

This week the news was full of a national epidemic and the tragic results. Bullying is the shame of this country in our schools, and more recently on the internet, where some kids have learned it is great sport to bully, tease, and threaten unmercifully. It has resulted in several suicides across the country. Statistics show that 15-25% of school children are bullied and that bullying begins in elementary school, continues on through high school, and tapers off finally in college. It has gone on far too long, while teachers have either turned their backs on the problem, or sometimes even participated in the derision or teasing of certain students. Even some parents seem to ascribe to the notion that bullying is part of growing up. I have always despised that excuse---bullying in the school yard , the school halls, or the internet is far worse than anything adults usually encounter in the outside world and it is naive to think that anything can be gained by either the bullier or the bullied---it is wrong, terribly damaging, and dangerous. Last week a college student committed suicide after learning that his room mate had video taped him and a friend of the same sex engaging in a sexual act, and then ran it on the internet for all to see.

The schools are at long last trying to curb this cruel, childish behavior and it is high time. Some states have enacted anti-bullying laws. Our children deserve better than to have to go to school afraid, but more afraid to tell anyone, for fear there will be even worse consequences. Several years ago, a boy by the name of Matthew Shepherd, a student at the University of Wyoming, was tortured, beaten, tied to a fence and left to die on a cold winter night at the hands of two local boys. The reason? He was gay. I will never forget the look of anguish on the face of Matthew's mother as it appeared in a local paper. She went on to advocate for anti-hatred laws. For those who think such laws are unnecessary and are redundant---take a look at the statistics. Hate crimes, especially against gay people are far too many, and if the laws already on the books won't stop it, then more needs to be done. The dirty little secret is that for too many years, gay people have been considered fair game for jokes, smirks, stares, and bullying---and not just in schools. It has been considered o.k., even among otherwise sophisticated, educated, and well mannered people, to giggle or make disparaging jokes about people of different sexual orientations, as though this was the one group of people that society as a whole deemed beneath their respect and protection of rights. Have we as a society changed our attitudes toward the gay and lesbian among us? Hopefully, as they have decided to "come out", we have more increasingly learned to clean out our pre-conceived judgements and very damaging indictments against them. How dare we judge another for their right to live their private lives as they choose, and for which they may have no choice but to be who and how they were born to be. "Don't ask, don't tell", the standard rule of conduct for the military is now being challenged by the gay rights champions. One hopes they win this important battle of rights, but one also hopes they will not pay for it with bullying as a result of their right to be honest.

Peer pressure is intense in school, and can be in part blamed for some of the bullying that goes on , but the bully is often born at home, not at birth, but by parents who allow and even foster belittling of others, whether it is of a sexual nature, or related to dress, color, class, religious or learning disabilities. To tolerate, even by silence, is to perpetuate prejudice and even give permission to become a bully. Parents are now being advised to not only guard against their child being bullied, but to also watch for signs that he or she is perhaps becoming or is, in fact, a bully. It is always heart warming to see the out pouring of grief and sympathy for student suicide victims by their fellow classmates---but the thought also occurs that it is too little, too late. Should we not be doing more to teach our children to stand against any kind of bullying they may witness, and not let it go unnoticed and without peer disapproval?

Society will probably never rid itself of bullying, for there will always be those who glean pleasure from assuming a mean, superior role to others. But it seems good manners and civil behavior could be stressed more ---it isn't enough to teach the pleasantries of " please" and "thank you". Self esteem has been the ultimate goal of many parents in recent years, and that's all well and good---but let us not forget to teach the importance of esteeming others. It would seem we need more role models for good and kind behavior both for our children and ourselves. We are not always getting it from our most obvious and visible heroes and celebrities. And we are certainly not getting it from our political leaders. Pointing out flaws of the opponents seems to go with the territory, and as we enter this election season, we will be subjected to what seems to be an acceptable form of bullying, in the form of character attack ads from both ends of the political party spectrum. Differences of view points are one thing , as disagreement with positions and policies are essential for healthy debates and decision making, but personal assassination and deliberate public put downs are quite another. Bullies are found everywhere, sometimes even in a President, who can use his pulpit to continuously belittle and make fun of his opponents. Let's hope this political season does not fall further to that level of childishness. We are watching, and so are our children. May we strive to set a good example of good will towards all men---even those we are at complete polar opposite. There is another way---civil discourse. How refreshing it would be to see more of that in our political debates.

Bullies are found everywhere, and while they are mostly bred at home, they are only allowed to flourish if society allows them to do so by turning a deaf ear, a blind eye, or worse, joining in. Most of us do not join in---but by remaining silent, we are condoning. God bless those who find the courage to speak up against even subtle slurs. Political correctness, though at times annoying, has become part of our culture, because we needed to reign in our tongues----may we continue to watch not only what we say, but what we feel, and just as importantly, what we are teaching our children by example---so that someday, we can look at them, be proud, and say---bully for you!!

THE TEA PARTY PHENOMENON

In case you haven't noticed, it's election time again in this country. Yes, mid-term elections are coming up in November, and you will surely know by then, that this will be an important, contentious time for both parties---or should we say three parties? There's a new kid on the block this year, and it remains to be seen how much of an impact the kid known as "The Tea Party" will make on the public consciousness This is not your basic nuisance third party. These people are a grass roots movement, which has sprung up as a result of their discontent with both the current administration and their extreme liberal agenda and the Republican party and in their view, not exreme enough conservative agenda. Like many new kids, this one has endured ridicule and even outright shunning. Some say they will split the Republican party; others say they will re-shape, take over, and become the new Republican party. Their numbers are growing, and regardless of how the Republicans are feeling about this, the Democrats are not amused with this upstart faction that they, try as they may to marginalize them, cannot ignore.

This is a tide that is worth watching, as their voices rise, and the pundits and media clearly don't quite know what to say about them. The Democrats on one hand have tried to paint them as biased, rabble rousers, while the Republicans for the most part have stood by watching them steal their thunder. Afraid to endorse them, yet too stymied by their influence to divorce them, they seem puzzled at this rather unpolitically astute, anti-establishment bunch of people that seem to have the wind at their backs in these troubling times. Their message is simple and clear----stop the trend of more and more government control,more spending, and higher taxes--- and it appears to be resonating. In spite of reports to the contrary, they seem to be a very well behaved and respectful group. At the same time they appear to be highly motivated and passionate--perhaps driven by their fear that their country is being led way too far to the left. One wonders if they are not the newest kid on the block, but perhaps have been there all along, the so called "silent majority", middle class Americans, politely and respectfully going along with the political process, allowing things to run their course---but now feeling that things have gotten too far out of hand and it is time to stand up and be counted.

They are making strides--Christine O'Donnell, Tea Party representative, has just pulled off the biggest upset of the year in the state of Delaware, winning the primary nomination for United States Senator against an incumbent Republican. Of course, the personal attacks have begun, and she will have to weather the storm of dirty politics---welcome to the world of "Gotcha!". Sara Palin, one of the early spokeswoman for the Tea Party, and a favorite punching bag of the dems and the media, continues to draw huge crowds. How is it that this plain spoken, not exactly erudite woman can become such an overnight political sensation? No, she doesn't have the experience, the education, the in depth international knowledge, or political smoothness one expects from a leader---but she is catching up fast, and she speaks in a way many people understand and trust--- her words echo their pent up concerns. Plain spoken, sincere, and hard hitting--she refuses to be bowed and is, like it or not, a force to be reckoned with. Again, her message is, like the Tea Party, 'we will no longer be silent or ignored---hear us roar.'

And so, as each side takes their places and gears up for a battle in the Novemberr, elections, the public will complain and grouse about all the negativity that the political process breeds in this country. But we should grow up. That's life in the U.S.A. As long as there is free speech, the speech isn't always pretty. It is true, that the process gets very messy and dirty at times, but that is the way of our democracy. It is the "sausage making" of a people who will eventually decide who they wish to lead and what policies and philosophies they want to follow. There is a great national debate being waged, the likes of which we have not seen in this country in a very long time. You will not hear it in social circles, but the dialogue is going on in hearts, minds, and homes across the land. You will read about it in the papers, and hear of it on television, but much of that will be subjective reporting. The subject matter has little to do with labels such as the "Tea Party", or Liberals, or Conservatives, but everything to do with the philosophy of each group.

This country is undergoing huge change, with one side pulling for more government control and more taxes to support it; the other resisting the concept of being cared for and believing that the country and its citizens will benefit more by allowing for more individual power and fewer taxes The tug and pull of more or less government is nothing new, and has been raging since the birth of this country. It came to a dramatic head at one time in the Boston Harbor--"The Tea Party" was born and it is rocking and rolling again---you may or not wish to be invited, but you will hear them. "Diss" them, admire, or join them. It does not appear they are going away very soon. Check them out, but before you dismiss them--they may be more like you than you care to admit---if not, there's another couple parties going on down the block. Choose carefully and know your party's theme. The hosts may be handsome, pretty, smart, and cool, but do they really stand for your best interests? I hate cliches, but now more than ever, our choices matter.

There are some who eschew "going" to any party, but rather they like to think they vote "for the man, or the woman". But the lines are drawn, and the man or woman you choose will espouse and follow the party's dictates---their careers depend upon it, which is too often the sad motivation of those who promise "change" in Washington. The real change must come from the people, who will demand it from the ground up--- and that can make for tense times---care for a cup of tea?

RAMBLING THOUGHTS ON A FALL DAY

Once again, the fall season has arrived in the rockies. The shadows are long and lazy, the days are hot, the evenings cool, and the elk up in the high country are "rutting",otherwise known as mating. Fall here is much more like summer than summer usually is. The temps rise, and the rain and thunder storms stop. The weather seems to stabilize,as though it's grown weary. Having burned itself out, it simmers on low---until its flame sighs, and winter reclaims the land. There will be no sign of summer and the starkness and early dark evenings can dampen the spirit. Have we been forsaken? Left alone? The leaves, so golden now, blow away, the flowers finally surrender their beauty to the below freezing nights, and the grass slowly turns yellow, then brown. Most of us put on our snow tires, pull on our boots, and crank up the heat. The winter air gets so dry and devoid of humidity here 5000 feet up, that eye drops and lotion are a daily ritual. In spite of that, it is a lovely time of year, the native Aspen trees blinding the eye with their copper colors. But for me, it gets harder and harder to say good-bye to summer. I will miss it, and wait impatiently, like a lover waits, impatient and longing for one more summer and the embrace of warmth and high joy that only lots of sun and outdoor activities can deliver.

There can be comfort in extreme cold. It requires fireplaces, warm, cuddly clothes, down comforters, hot chocolate, and cozy evenings spent with family and friends warming the nights with friendship and love. There is also a sort of heartiness that is born of getting through a tough winter---one takes it on, deals with it, and even makes friends with it. At the end of a 4 below freezing day, after you've made it home over icey, slushy streets, you feel like a survivor of the first order. There are, of course, people who not only tolerate, but worship winter---they are called skiers and they can't wait for snow and cold. We have a neighbor who drives almost every weekend to Telluride, which is a 6 hour drive, so that he can experience the rush of a downhill run. This is indeed world class ski country, and snow is the skier's sunshine and the ski industry's manna from heaven. I wish I shared their enthusiam---but I don't. I used to ski until another skier hit me broadside, and practically knocked my lights out, then skied full speed away. That was my last down hill run.

So, here we are again, facing one more winter---actually, it's not so bad. Next month, I'll put out the Halloween decorations, fill the porch with pumkins and mum plants, bake a pumpkin pie, and invite someone over for a chili supper. Summer will once again be a memory. The good news is that, unlike some things in life, summer always returns. The question becomes, as one becomes older---will we? Will life go on as we know it, or will we move on like the worn leaves? I will miss summer.

Last year at this time, we had already had a snow storm. This September has un-summerly brought 90 degree days. Perhaps it won't leave us after all---maybe she likes it here. You never know---global warming may be turning everything upside down. But wait--now they're saying that global warming wasn't quite as severe as we had been led to believe. What's up with that? Was Al Gore and his movie, "An Inconvenient Truth" not the truth? Was it all a sort of rush to judgement in order to save the planet from--- a hunch? Or, cynically, one wonders, to line the pockets of those who would profit from all the new energy requirements? Oh, but they were so sure--and "they" were some of the world's top scientists---but, alas, also very human, subject to error and premature eagerness to conclude without all the facts. Like Stephen Hawkings, acclaimed physicist and famous author of "A Brief History of Time", who is now claiming the universe did and does not need a God or any kind of intelligent design in order to begin out of nothing but nothingness,they preach loud and authoritatively what they believe. Our existence according to Mr. Hawkings and his ilk, just happened as a result of a series of events. Oh, Mr. Hawkings, that's even harder to believe than global warming--or that there's a God. Are you sure you're not falling victim to a bit of hubris? In other words, what you can't fathom, you simply deny? Well, it's your business, but I think I'll err on the side of a divine possibility. What if what we can't explain or comprehend may simply be too profound and complex for even top scientists to wrap their minds around? Amazing and humbling thought, but possible. If there is a God, He must wonder at times if He may have made just the tiniest of mistakes by giving us a brain capable enough to survive, and even thrive----but not enough to understand for certain that He exists. But it seems He did not want puppets or robots of his creation, marching like wind-up toys to his wishes. and so He gambled that we would "see the light" from the evidence all around us. Faith is the operative word. But faith requires suspension of human logic sometimes, and the human brain rejects that concept---unless faith enters the heart. It is after all, a brain, not a soul.

The seasons remind that there is a time for living and a time for dying---but that even in the face of death, there is hope for re-birth. The elk know that for sure. I love summer, will enjoy the fall, endure another winter, but live for next spring, when life begins all over again. Stephen Hawkings or not, watching a tree lose its leaves, become nothing but a spray of dead branches, then bud and bloom full and leafy once again, is proof enough for me that all things are possible. We are not alone---the universe is not one big accident, nor are we. We are part of a much bigger picture---too big to fail, one might say. And much too big and marvelous to dismiss as coincidence. The autumn leaves may fall, along with temperatures, and snow. Listen to it all one quiet day---and consider that there is no end and no beginning---just the stream of life. Don't know about you all, but I choose to believe we are part of that stream, which will someday reach its destination---where it's spring all year long and summer is the zenith and the beautiful bow of a great and wonderful gift, the giver of which is known in some circles as the Alpha and the Omega--the first and the last ---or God.

THE REUNION---TOO MANY YEARS TO TELL LATER

I used to love high school reunions. It was fun to see the old gang, catch up on their stories, and take a short walk down memory lane. It was a good way to see how far we had come, and at the same time reconnect with what we had once been, for better or worse. There was always a party buzz, and a feeling that we had grown up, made it to the other side of school to careers, marriage, and family. Yessir, look at us now----ain't we somethin'? And we were still on the move--miles to go and many promises to keep.

But as time goes on, reunions become less jovial and more nostalgic. The "old gang" takes on a much more literal meaning. Suddenly it seems, there is a sea of grey-haired older people--mostly men--curiously, women do not turn grey---hm-m-m-m But all the faces are lined with age and living. The stories are not over,but they are well on their way, and the plot lines are in most cases fixed. Many miles have been traveled, promises have either been kept or broken and most folks are living what they have wrought. Peggy Lee, the famous singer, once sang "Is That All There Is? " Well, this may not be all there is, but to quote another phrase, " what is, is". Most of us have climbed our mountains, chased our dreams, and settled in to enjoy the rest of the ride. We may not be "somethin" anymore, but we don't care ---we like us just fine the way we are, thank you very much. Age does have its compensations---less self consciousness is one of them.

Last week I went to a multi-class reunion---the classes dated back to 1940. Upon walking into the cavernous dining hall, I felt suddenly out of place and out of body---how could I possibly belong to this group of people wandering about, looking at all the memoralbilia laid out upon tables---photos, trophies, year books, all echoing down through the years and testifying that once upon a time we had all been connected one way or the other. I felt nothing---it had been too long ago and far away. Yet, one by one, I began to recognize this person or that one. A tall, nice looking stranger suddenly appeared, smiling knowingly at me while I tried to read his name tag. Before I could do so, he spoke my name, and then his. Finally I remembered, and as always happens to me at reunions, the years fell away from his face, and I saw before me the handsome, tall boy who had once taken me out a couple of times. We chatted a minute or two, before running out of things to say, then both of us drifted off to others. I felt the same as I had so very many decades earlier---he was nice, attractive, and even fun to be with---but nothing beyond that. I would imagine he felt the same way. Some things never change. It always fascinates me that two people who knew each other long ago, can reunite years later and feel an attraction that did not exist earlier. For me, my first impressions generally are very long lasting and accurate. But was I flattered that an old boyfriend still remembered me? Damn straight. As I said, some things never change.

As I cast about looking for more familiar faces, I found a few, though not many, as most of our class did not attend this particular reunion. Perhaps they were wise---as this one was held not exclusively in our honor and so did not hold the usual allure and magic of previous reunions---that feeling of having traversed backwards to the place where you are allowed to be young again. It simply did not happen this time---this reunion made me feel old and somewhat displaced--strange,because we were the youngest class there! But observing the older alumni was like going back to the future---they were what we would soon become---older yet.

I did not return the next day for more of the reunion festivities. I was done looking backwards--or too far into the future. There were too many missing people and their absences were making me feel sad and lonely. One of the missing was from our class, and was a beloved man, having become a naturalized citizen after immigrating here from Europe while we were all in high school together. Everyone knew and admired Henry and his love for this country. He had gone on a boat fishing trip when he suffered a heart attack, fell from his bunk and severed his spinal cord. He had planned to come to this reunion. Now, his life hung in the balance while we all gathered to celebrate our shared history. Henry had planned to be there with us---and in a way he was, as the news spread about his dire circumstances. He died the next day. The master of ceremonies of the reunion had spoken of Henry in his opening remarks, and included him in a prayer--but then the school band, paradoxically, and on cue, began to play; and the cheerleaders danced their jive as if to say, "O.K., he's gone, too bad, so sad, but let's give a cheer, anyway!" They were just beginning their journey and knew nothing of Henry--- they will learn soon enough about good men and sad good-byes. And they will feel as we did---that each time one of your own dies, he leaves a void and takes part of us with him.

For those of you still young enough to go to early-on high school reunions, go and enjoy---strut your youthful stuff and ring those bells---before they begin to toll for a different reason. The old gang will become just that, and you will start to lose some of the them. So for now, take time to listen to their stories, enjoy their company, but don't linger too long in the past--- it can be an aphrodisiac, beckoning you to not only stay too long, but to yearn your youth. It's over, and while wonderful for many of us, was only a temporary place along the way,shaping and preparing us for the future. Keep moving forward, with just an occasional glance back to the "good old days". Because the only good old day, we have is this one. Right, Henry? Hey, Henry---just for the record---you really were somethin'!! Happy fishing up there!!!

SURPRISE!!!

Last week I turned another year older---ho-hum. I wasn't a bit surprised--but then, I never am. Birthdays come and go, but some are more important than others----this one was. Suffice to say, it was not my 30th. This particular one nailed down, firmly and irretrievably what I already knew--- I am definitely not getting any younger. And if I didn't know it before, my face decided to clue me in the morning after my birthday---there it was, another wrinkle in time staring back at me, as if to say---yeah, baby, you've come a lo--o-o-o-ng, long ways.

At what point do we accept our mortality? I can remember clearly the day I realized I was not going to live forever---in fact, it suddenly hit me that nobody was---everyone on the planet---poof!---gone someday. I think I was about 10 when that unsettling epiphany dawned on my consciousness. OMG---this is not good. There must be a different way. And spiritually, there is, but I wasn't looking for harps and heaven back then. Slowly, I accepted what we all must--that nothing lasts forever---including us. What a pity--but then, my 90 year old mom would disagree. She says she's ready to make her exit---I just don't believe it. She still loves to party as much as I do. Funny thing is, looking back on it all, I only remember a few of the parties.

When I was five, I had a great birthday party--it wasn't a surprise, but I still remember the kids, the dress-up clothes, the presents, the attention. What a great idea---birthday parties! What better reason to party than to commemorate the day one became alive and part of this grand and glorious experience. Okay, so I didn't think like that when I was five, but I do now---and I knew then that there must be something very special about birthdays---even though we seemed to have little to do with being born. Then I finally heard someone say that we should be proud of ourselves,just for being here---because even as sperms, we proved to be stronger and more determined than all the other sperms that tried to make it through!! An "A-ha moment"!! And another reason for a party.

The next party I remember is years later,an attempted surprise party when I turned sweet 16---I somehow knew all about it, and had to feign surprise, but it was still fun and life was brimming over. It was the 50's---there were no drugs, no terrorism, no one out of 4 divorce rate. The only rock and rolling we did was at the local Skate Ranch, and "cool" was a word used only to describe the weather. Didn't matter--we had no wish to be "cool"---just cute, clever, or smart. And if you were a girl and had just one black skirt with a pink poodle adorned upon it, all was well with the world. If you were a guy, all you needed were white buck shoes or a duck-tail hair cut. If you had both, then---you were "cool" before "cool" was "cool".

When I turned an age that some people might call "older", suffice to say, even more emphatically, it was not my 30th, or my 40th, or--- my girl friends who also love to party, and gleefully remind you that you're getting older, and not necessarily better,invited me to a restaurant dinner birthday celebration. Naively thinking they would surprise me and to pay homage to my love of theatre, they planned to show up in Groucho Marx sunglasses, noses, and mustaches. But once again, I somehow knew this, and instead surprised them by strolling into the restaurant with---a little old lady wig of platinum gray tiny curls, black leather pants, vest, boots, cut out gloves, jaunty cap, and a dog-collar chain necklace---my version of a biker's babe--the new "little old lady" look. The look on their faces was a gift that still shines in my memory today.

Last year was another memorable birthday and what some people might refer to as a definite sign of "old". Having given up on anyone ever surprising me, I helped throw a party, group style, for my entire high school class. It was comforting to share the long years with others, but the number we were celebrating wasn't lost on me---time was moving on, and we with it. I asked everyone there to share any words of wisdom they may have gained through the years---"Live with an attitude of gratitude" is the one I most liked. But no one, including me, said anything about surprises (happy ones, of course) being one of the best ways to stay young! To be surprised is to feel energized, and to be the surpriser is to feel even better. Unexpected flowers, candy, visits, phone calls, all fall into this category. Never under estimate the power of tangible or spoken good wishes toward another---we are after all---people who need people! Thank you Barbra Streisand---

In between all the parties, the milestones,the other birthdays seem to blur together into one happy song---happy birthday, happy birthday,----we love you, my friend, my daughter, my sister ,my grandma, my mom, my wife---I loved them all back. And as the candles flickered on all the cakes, I always made the same two fervent wishes ---"Please don't take me from them too soon". And the most important one of all---"Don't even think about taking any of them from me--ever."

My life has had its moments of joy and sorrow, but those two requests have been granted--and so I count myself most fortunate, and will take whatever comes with the rest of the ride---wrinkles and all. That was the bargain I made---keep them all safe, and I'll accept anything else. I'm ready for the next curve in the road---I like curves. Curves keep us on on our toes and make the journey more interesting. Sometimes they hide something wonderful, and other times something deplorable or devastating. But it's the price we pay for the ride we take. I'm taking my chances, hoping for the good stuff--and holding on to my jaunty cap.

Now,as sit at an age I could never fathom when I was five, I can only think of how fast it has melted away---I want to hold the present in my hands a little longer and slow the whole experience down. I want to savor, smell, stare, soak it all up a little more. When asked this year what I wanted for a gift---I could think of nothing---except time. But there is just one other small thing I really, really would like--- a real surprise birthday party----maybe next year. Sometimes surprises come in cards. This year, one of mine from a friend said, "Happy Birthday, Fabulous!" Of course, I loved that card, especially since I had just been feelin' it--old, that is; and suddenly I felt--- well, fabulous! And surprised!!