THE REUNION---TOO MANY YEARS TO TELL LATER

I used to love high school reunions. It was fun to see the old gang, catch up on their stories, and take a short walk down memory lane. It was a good way to see how far we had come, and at the same time reconnect with what we had once been, for better or worse. There was always a party buzz, and a feeling that we had grown up, made it to the other side of school to careers, marriage, and family. Yessir, look at us now----ain't we somethin'? And we were still on the move--miles to go and many promises to keep.

But as time goes on, reunions become less jovial and more nostalgic. The "old gang" takes on a much more literal meaning. Suddenly it seems, there is a sea of grey-haired older people--mostly men--curiously, women do not turn grey---hm-m-m-m But all the faces are lined with age and living. The stories are not over,but they are well on their way, and the plot lines are in most cases fixed. Many miles have been traveled, promises have either been kept or broken and most folks are living what they have wrought. Peggy Lee, the famous singer, once sang "Is That All There Is? " Well, this may not be all there is, but to quote another phrase, " what is, is". Most of us have climbed our mountains, chased our dreams, and settled in to enjoy the rest of the ride. We may not be "somethin" anymore, but we don't care ---we like us just fine the way we are, thank you very much. Age does have its compensations---less self consciousness is one of them.

Last week I went to a multi-class reunion---the classes dated back to 1940. Upon walking into the cavernous dining hall, I felt suddenly out of place and out of body---how could I possibly belong to this group of people wandering about, looking at all the memoralbilia laid out upon tables---photos, trophies, year books, all echoing down through the years and testifying that once upon a time we had all been connected one way or the other. I felt nothing---it had been too long ago and far away. Yet, one by one, I began to recognize this person or that one. A tall, nice looking stranger suddenly appeared, smiling knowingly at me while I tried to read his name tag. Before I could do so, he spoke my name, and then his. Finally I remembered, and as always happens to me at reunions, the years fell away from his face, and I saw before me the handsome, tall boy who had once taken me out a couple of times. We chatted a minute or two, before running out of things to say, then both of us drifted off to others. I felt the same as I had so very many decades earlier---he was nice, attractive, and even fun to be with---but nothing beyond that. I would imagine he felt the same way. Some things never change. It always fascinates me that two people who knew each other long ago, can reunite years later and feel an attraction that did not exist earlier. For me, my first impressions generally are very long lasting and accurate. But was I flattered that an old boyfriend still remembered me? Damn straight. As I said, some things never change.

As I cast about looking for more familiar faces, I found a few, though not many, as most of our class did not attend this particular reunion. Perhaps they were wise---as this one was held not exclusively in our honor and so did not hold the usual allure and magic of previous reunions---that feeling of having traversed backwards to the place where you are allowed to be young again. It simply did not happen this time---this reunion made me feel old and somewhat displaced--strange,because we were the youngest class there! But observing the older alumni was like going back to the future---they were what we would soon become---older yet.

I did not return the next day for more of the reunion festivities. I was done looking backwards--or too far into the future. There were too many missing people and their absences were making me feel sad and lonely. One of the missing was from our class, and was a beloved man, having become a naturalized citizen after immigrating here from Europe while we were all in high school together. Everyone knew and admired Henry and his love for this country. He had gone on a boat fishing trip when he suffered a heart attack, fell from his bunk and severed his spinal cord. He had planned to come to this reunion. Now, his life hung in the balance while we all gathered to celebrate our shared history. Henry had planned to be there with us---and in a way he was, as the news spread about his dire circumstances. He died the next day. The master of ceremonies of the reunion had spoken of Henry in his opening remarks, and included him in a prayer--but then the school band, paradoxically, and on cue, began to play; and the cheerleaders danced their jive as if to say, "O.K., he's gone, too bad, so sad, but let's give a cheer, anyway!" They were just beginning their journey and knew nothing of Henry--- they will learn soon enough about good men and sad good-byes. And they will feel as we did---that each time one of your own dies, he leaves a void and takes part of us with him.

For those of you still young enough to go to early-on high school reunions, go and enjoy---strut your youthful stuff and ring those bells---before they begin to toll for a different reason. The old gang will become just that, and you will start to lose some of the them. So for now, take time to listen to their stories, enjoy their company, but don't linger too long in the past--- it can be an aphrodisiac, beckoning you to not only stay too long, but to yearn your youth. It's over, and while wonderful for many of us, was only a temporary place along the way,shaping and preparing us for the future. Keep moving forward, with just an occasional glance back to the "good old days". Because the only good old day, we have is this one. Right, Henry? Hey, Henry---just for the record---you really were somethin'!! Happy fishing up there!!!