TAKE NOTICE---A PRINCE, A PRINCESS, AND PERSPECTIVE

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to float through life with the greatest of ease---and others are constantly caught up in this drama or that trauma? What's the x factor, the thing that allows some to rise to or above challenges and pitfalls while so many seem barely able to survive what life throws at them. Is the ability to remain steadfast and even cheerful in the face of adversity a learned trait, or is one born with it? Studies show that while money certainly helps, it does not completely insulate from life's hard balls. So consider for a moment one young man's stellar, but not always happy journey and his happy "ending" ---so far.

This weekend we saw a prince marry a commoner in Great Britain. That used to be the stuff of fairy tales, and if done, not at all amusing---now it's a welcome sign of a more modern ,reasonable, and far more acceptable monarchy. Opinions and perspectives have changed. We remember Prince William as he marched with his younger brother and father behind his mother's casket 30 years ago and how sad he looked. We grieved with him and wondered if he would survive that tragedy. Would it define him, force him to see the world as an ugly, mean, and dangerous place---or would he manage to move on healthy and strong? Of course, he had many advantages, but still one wondered if the sadness would color his life and keep him from reaching his full potential. Would that we could all have the riches and entitlements that Prince William was born into, yet a recent poll found that human happiness does not come necessarily from wealth---much of it comes from intangible things--like good relationships, health, exercising, helping others---but falling in love tops the charts. All the world loves a lover, and the lover's world turns from black and white to vivid color over night. But everything is really the same---it's the beholder who has changed.

In the book, "The Noticer", by Andy Andrews, the author tries to show that it's all about one's perspective that can make the difference between a life spent struggling and complaining, or one which sails and soars in spite of one's circumstances. It all has to do with how you look at things, and whether you are noticing the right things at the right angle. The author used a character by the name of "Jones" to bring perspective to the lives of those living in a small town. Jones would show up out of nowhere and help a man about to commit suicide,a husband about to leave his wife, or a discouraged business man. In every case, Jones, who seemed to resemble a spiritual being,but without any obsequious mention of it, managed to adjust their vision, so that they began to see their lives differently. It has to do with values and attitudes, of course, but it was a good reminder that how we respond to events has much more importance than the events themselves.

At the end of the book, the author asks whether the reader has ever had a "Jones" in their life,someone to show them the way when inevitable darkness descends. I could not say that I had. But then I began to remember times in my life when there had been isolated incidents-- and one might say, a "Jones" appeared out of nowhere to help me find the way, or to look at the situation from outside my isolated lens. For me, they have usually been strangers, who once having come to my aid, have disappeared never to be seen again. There was the reputedly rude, uncaring cabbie in New York, who loaned me $3.00 for his fare, when I was dead broke as a young flight attendant, the unapproachable looking nun on a train in Italy who seemed to arrive out of thin air and showed my friends and me where to safely sit when we were totally confused, the overly friendly gentleman I was sure had ulterior motives, but who guided me through the of streets of Venice to my hotel when I was lost, and asked for nothing in return, a wise old window washer who spoke words of comfort to a pain I had buried and thought out of sight, until he addressed it quite out of the blue and lifted my spirits, and on and on, sign posts along my way, held by people I didn't notice or expect answers from until they helped me to find and to view things differently. Andy Andrews' message is that, contrary to what we have been told, it is the small stuff in life that matters---not the big job, the fancy car, the ideal marriage, the perfect children,etc. The woman who referred this book to me told me that it had changed her life. It did not change mine, but it reminded me to look at things from all sides, before locking into one view point.

I hope as I have been helped, I have been someone's Jones or simple sign post along their way. Could it be that's our real lesson, the thing we need to notice most? That what is the most important in this life is to take the focus off of self and direct our gaze at the beauty that is always there, the peace that floats all around us even in the midst of turmoil, the wisdom that is inherently deep inside for the tapping, and most importantly, the person in our life who may be in need of a different perspective---or a hug. Look around, take notice, and see beyond to a place called understanding--or heightened perspective. You will sometimes see it in the eyes of children---they have not yet been blinded by the abrasions of the world. You may also find it in the the very old---some lucky ones rediscover their sight again as they see the circle of life coming back around to complete their journey, and they finally gain a new appreciation which eluded them in their pre-occupied lives. That appreciation is a perspective free of what ifs, should haves, fear, pride, greed, or anxiety about the future---it doesn't agonize over the past, it moves forward, it forgives, it submits, it accepts what is,it changes what can be changed, it keeps trying, it bows gracefully and finally to fate, and it has faith in a higher power. It continually tweaks the cloudy prism through which we see, until we see, not up against, but beyond to clarity and hope . It shimmers with a knowledge that speaks to the soul, and silently whispers--- all will be well, be still, and see the light that shines even on the darkest days.

This weekend as the world watched Prince William marry his love, Kate, we felt what we all hunger for---a fairy tale love story and respite from all the dreary world news. May they live happily ever after and may we see if for just for a moment, an example of a perspective that perhaps we could not see when Princess Diane died, and everything about her and her family seemed dark and overwhelmingly sad ----that all things do indeed pass, and joy returns to live another day. While watching the royal couple today, as they settled into their horse drawn carriage, Princess Katherine, as she will be called from now on, turned to William and seemed to say, "Are you happy?" Smiling back at her, he seemed to be saying, "Yes, are you?" "Yes", she replied. And the world seemed to smile upon them. Long live the prince and his princess---and their new found happiness. And may they find the perspective to make it last---because even fairy tales don't always have final happy endings.

Now, no one has to remind me that the life of a prince is no proof that we can all rise above the adversities of a life more common--but this weekend's story book wedding was a shining example of triumph over sadness and happy re-beginnings. We kind of needed that, but we ordinary mortals also know that many of us suffer much worse difficulties than the prince---and still manage to overcome and live life to the fullest. I think of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords who was shot by a would be assassin, and is battling her way back, perhaps never to be quite the same, but unwilling to give up. There are people in my own family who, against all odds, have come out the other side of tragedy, perhaps scarred, but stronger and smiling. The point is that the human spirit is an awesome thing, and if fed ,nurtured, and disciplined, it will see us through to the end---because the x factor is the soul that knows it is built to last, even without royal blood---or maybe because it is of the most royal of all.