State of the Union After Thoughts

Hm-m-m-m. What did you think of it? Did it make you feel any better? Did it inspire you? Make you hopeful? Or angry? I would imagine it did all those things to different people. For me, I came away feeling as though I had been lectured to by an angry, stern, but caring father---who has no intention of backing down on what he feels is best for us and is quite irritated that we do not quite see it his way. Rather, than accepting that the evidence is there, via the Mass. election, the polls, the polarization on Health Care, the controversies that rage over the bail-outs, the government interference with corporate pay and bonuses, the terrorist issues, including the hugely expensive trial that is to be held in New York City for one of the main perpetrators of 911, that perhaps he should reconsider his position on several fronts. But true to Obama form, he came out swinging for the fences, confident that the masses will follow if he shows enough confidence, articulation, determination, and a small amount of apology for not living up to the very high expectations set before him in this, his first and very difficult year. He blames not a small part of this failure for the Republicans' stubbornness to go along with his party's ways. He also managed to shake his finger, almost literally, at the Supreme Court and Judge Alito, for their recent decision on corporate campaign ad funding. Judge Alito, who had no choice but to sit and take it, must have felt like the victim of a bullying teacher in a classroom, being reprimanded for having done his job. I guess the President and Mr. Alito's animus with each other goes back a long ways, but it was an uncomfortable moment. It is, however, a free country still, and there was nothing illegal or even original about Obama taking on the judge, while having the national pulpit. It just didn't seem very Presidential. But, I guess we should cut President Obama a little slack----after all, he's frustrated, stressed, and quite cross with some of us! We really should shape up and get behind what needs to be done----which is getting this economy going again!!! I agree with him, totally, but it starts NOT with a good talking to, but a President who recognizes when to show a little humility, dial down the soaring rhetoric, and instead show us something besides left wing politics, pandering to his political interests, and a feeling that our country is being sold down the river. I am ready to follow, even admire, if he would show me that he is willing to compromise, move more to the center, and give me reason to believe that he is truly interested in making our country stronger and better---not re-born to his terms. He is not our father, and we are not his children.
Well, there you have it-- this is just me, one small business owner, who has watched her world crumble around her. This is not all Obama's fault, by any means. There is plenty of blame to go around---and perhaps it was just time for a re-set of our economic values. But, at this point, I am very worried, concerned, and question Mr. Obama's lack of experience and his world view, which seems not in sync with many of us who grew up in a different America. No one can cure this country over night, but neither can we, nor do we want to change so dramatically over night. Mr. Obama needs our prayers and Solomon's wisdom---may we and God grant him that as we proceed.

Senate Upset in Massachusetts and Obama's Next Move--Right, Left. or Down the Middle ??

And now for a little political chat---my favorite kind of chat! OMG, did she say political chat? Well, yes, I did--and I can---if you're game. Problem is nobody wants to chat about politics---not politically correct! But it's what I heard someone describe as the "wall paper" of our lives, so very present and influencing. How can we not think about it, and if we're thinking about it, why not discuss what we're thinking? Are we just reduced to harmless, but oh, so boring chit chat like-- "What's up?"," How do you like this weather?", and "Have a nice day"? Or, my favorite--"what movies have you seen lately? " ( I actually like that one, but that can be dangerous too, if you've seen a Michael Moore diatribe). But is it that difficult to agree to disagree ? I find the people who are willing to talk a little politics are the most interesting, because they are usually the most informed, therefore not fearful of entering into a conversation about which they may know little. I also find the wisest people are those who keep their cool, while expressing their view points and courteously listen to the opposing view without getting angry, huffy, or condescending. I believe that would be called an intelligent debate---an exchange of ideas, a civil discourse. I love that, so---let's have one!

What does everybody think of the Massachusett's Senate upset last Tuesday? How about that virtually unknown, Scott Brown? Is he the new Sheriff in town? Or just a way for the people of Mass. to say " no" to the proposed health care bill, and other things going on in government? If nothing else, it was a loud wake-up call to President Obama and his administration, that perhaps they had best start paying better attention and not be assuming that everybody is agreeing with them. I think they got the message---Obama has even ordered his former campaign manager, David Plouffe, to oversee Senate, House, and Gubnatorial races to try and forsee trends before the next voting season, so that they can avoid another Mass. It will be an interesting midterm election time. With the possible death of Obama's health care plan as it stands now, and the resulting ripple effect on other Democrat politicians, there's a lot at stake. Listen up, Mr. Plouffe---it's not just about trends and pretty speeches---it's about the message of the trends,which is that the the natives are getting restless---come to the middle, Mr. Obama. That's where most of us are--not hard left or hard right. Thank you chatting--or listening. Now, it's your turn!

New York, New York----I Made it There!!!

I read recently where the famed restaurant, Tavern on the Green was closing down. Another good-bye. I loved that place----it was like an enchanted clearing in the middle of Central Park---glass paned windows, sparkling chandeliers, white, ornate wrought iron garden furniture, wonderful food and elegant service .The last time we were there was a magical evening, spun out of dreams---it was a warm, summery night and we were meeting our niece who was attending Columbia University at the time. After dinner, we rode through the park in a horse drawn carriage to attend a performance at the Lincoln Center. “A Light in the Piazza”, was the name of the play, and it added to the kind of evening only New York can offer--wonderful dining and superb theatre. New York, New York----if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere! Well, I had made it there, once upon a time---to live in New York, that is. I was there before the Tavern on the Green or the “Towers” that was so magnificent and a monument to the city, before being so savagely destroyed.

It was a long time ago, 1960 to be exact, and I was a starry eyed girl from a small town in Calif. I was also a United airline “stewardess”---but just temporarily, as I was going to be a Broadway STAR!! Standing on a busy, Manhattan street with all 5 suit cases in tow and very little money, and waiting for a cab to stop, I was thrilled, pumped, giddy, out of my mind with happiness. I was here!! Nothing could stop me now---well, I slowed down a bit when the girl who had been holding a spot for me in an apartment, broke the news that someone else had moved in---but, not to worry, I could stay there until I found something else. I did, and it was worth the wait. Five O Five Park Ave., thank you very much, was my new address---it had everything---a lovely old pre-war building with wooden floors, big windows that opened out onto a lovely courtyard, quaintly furnished by my new roommate, Suzy, who, if not exactly friendly, knew her way around New York, having been raised there by a governess. She was a window designer for Lord and Taylor, and I suspect the cute wicker furniture had been supplied by or stolen from them. Suzy had lots of friends, all male, who came and went at the oddest hours of the night. About the only thing we had in common was that we both adored coffee ice cream, a fairly new phenomenon at that time. We would sit and gleefully eat a whole carton between us, like two little girl friends---but we were not. Suzy laughed at my pastel dresses and I thought her all black clothes were depressing—she was right, though---black was/is where it’s at if you want to look like a New Yawker---and I did, so out went the pastels.

One other thing Five O Five Park Ave had was a door man---yes, a real live, uniformed door man who took us up and down in the old time-y, rickety elevator. Abe was his name, and he looked very dapper in his green uniform with epaulets on the shoulders. It took me a while to realize that the reason the elevator was so jerky on some of its rides with me in it was due to my not tipping Abe for his services---who knew? I was a slow learner in the ways of the big city---don’t tip the taxi driver enough and he’ll curse you all the way down the street.But I got even the next time a cabbie got rude with me before I even got out of his car--- I left the door open and strutted away----nose up in the air and feelin’ pretty sassy. I was becoming a New Yawker! I eventually learned not to smile at strangers, or even friends so much---and to not look frightened ever---even if you think you’re being stalked, which I did a couple of times.

Of course, one of the best things about New York is the night life. When I was there, there were many wonderful,intimate, smoky night clubs, like the Blue Note, where I saw Peggy Lee perform “You Give me Fever”, and she set the room on fire with it. There were also fabulously glamorous places like the celebrated St. Regis Room , where Suze and friends took me one night. I was having a perfectly fabulous, glamorous time until the man Suzy had fixed me up with informed me that he was married! Horrified,scared, and indignant as only a young girl can be, I ordered the man to take me home immediately---so much for my big night out. But there were other nights spent wondrously at the Opera, the Ballet, and of course the Broadway theatres, where I longed to be ---on stage, not in the audience. My big chance came one day, and I actually got an audition with a Broadway producer! That’s all I have to say about that---it came to nothing, but I think I realized in that instant of being goggled,judged,and dismissed that I wasn’t at all ready for the bright lights of Broadway----what had I been thinking? Without an agent, acting lessons, and connections to the right people, none of which I had or could afford,I was not going to be a star---not even a spark. Who wants to be a STAR, anyway---I could still live in the sky----coffee, tea, or milk, sir?

In the meantime, I met many interesting people, grew up a lot, became quite sophisticated in my black clothing and serious face, and even dated a Vanderbilt! At least he said he was of that dynastic clan---and he seemed the real deal---we didn’t have Google in those days, so I took him for his word. He was kind, awkward, and slept through the opera----had obviously been there many times. He also took me to a political small gathering, where all the talk was of John F. Kennedy and his dalliance with a movie star, named Marilyn Monroe. The media did not betray those secrets in that day, so it was years before I heard it officially on the news!

Eventually, I began to tire of big city ways and feared I had forgotten how to smile, so decided to leave and return to the west, where I prefer the open spaces, ready smiles, and where we don’t even necessarily wear black at funerals! But I’ll always miss New York and sometimes wish that I had stayed and really made it there----but even if I had, nothing is forever---not even The Tavern on the Green ---or the "Towers". So for now, for me, all the world’s a stage---the show opens every day with a new cast and an ever changing story---I hope it takes me back to New York one more time---I need to tip Abe.

New York, New York----I Made it There!!!

I read recently where the famed restaurant, Tavern on the Green was closing down. I loved that place----it was like an enchanted clearing in the middle of Central Park---glass paned windows, sparkling chandeliers, white, ornate wrought iron garden furniture, wonderful food and elegant service .The last time we were there was a magical evening, spun out of dreams---it was a warm, summery night and we were meeting our neice who was attending Columbia College at the time. After dinner, we rode through the park in a horse drawn carriage to attend a performance at the Lincoln Center. “A Light in the Piazza”, was the name of the play, and it added to the kind of evening only New York can offer---New York, New York----if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere! Well, I had made it there, once upon a time---to New York, to live that is. I was there before the Tavern on the Green or the “towers” that was so magnificent and a monument to the city, before being so savagely destroyed.
It was a long time ago, 1960 to be exact, and I was a starry eyed girl from a small town in Calif. I was also a United airline “stewardess”---but just temporarily, as I was going to be a Broadway STAR!! Standing on a busy, Manhattan street with all 5 suit cases in tow and very little money, and waiting for a cab to stop, I was thrilled, pumped, giddy, out of my mind with happiness. I was here!! Nothing could stop me now---well, I slowed down a bit when the girl who had been holding a spot for me in an apt., broke the news that someone else had moved in---but, not to worry, I could stay there until I found something else. I did, and it was worth the wait. 505 Park Ave., thank you very much, was my new address---it had everything---a lovely old pre-war building with wooden floors, big windows that opened out onto a lovely courtyard, quaintly furnished by my new roommate, Suzy, who, if not exactly friendly, knew her way around New York, having been raised there by a governess. She was a window designer for Lord and Taylor, and I suspect the cute wicker furniture had been supplied by or stolen from them. Suzy had lots of friends, all male, who came and went at the oddest hours of the night. About the only thing we had in common was that we both adored coffee ice cream, a fairly new phenomenon at that time. We would sit and gleefully eat a whole carton between us, like two little girl friends---but we were not. Suzy laughed at my pastel dresses and I thought her all black clothes were depressing—she was right, though---black was/is where it’s at if you want to look like a New Yawker---and I did, so out went the pastels.
One other thing 505 Park Ave had was a door man---yes, a real live, uniformed door man who took us up and down in the old time-y, rickety elevator . Abe was his name, and he looked very dapper in his green uniform with epaulets on the shoulders. It took me a while to realize that the reason the elevator was so jerky on some of its rides with me in it was due to my not tipping Abe for his services---who knew? I was a slow learner in the ways of the big city---don’t tip the taxi driver enough and he’ll curse you all the way down the street. Got even though the next time a cabbie got rude with me before I even got out of his car--- I left the door open and strutted away----nose up in the air and feelin’ pretty sassy. I was becoming a New Yawker! I eventually learned not to smile at strangers, or even friends so much---and to not look frightened ever---even if you think you’re being stalked, which I did a couple of times.
Of course, one of the best things about New York is the night life. When I was there, there were many wonderful,intimate, smoky night clubs, like the Blue Note, where I saw Peggy Lee perform “You Give me Fever”, and set the room on fire with it. There were also fabulously glamorous places like the St Regis room , where Suze and friends took me one night, I was having a perfectly fabulous, glamorous time until the man Suzy had fixed me up with informed me that he was married! Horrified, indignant, and scared as only a young girl can be, I ordered the man to take me home immediately---so much for my big night out. But there other nights spent wondrously at the Opera, the Ballet, and of course the Broadway theatres, where I longed to be ---on stage, not in the audience. My big chance came one day, and I actually got an audition with a Broadway producer! That’s all I have to say about that---it came to nothing, but I think I realized in that instant of being appraised, judged, and dismissed that I wasn’t at all ready for the bright lights of Broadway----what had I been thinking? Without an agent, acting lessons, and connections to the right people, I was not going to be a star---not even a comet. Who wants to be a STAR, anyway---I could still live in the sky----coffee, tea, or milk, sir?
In the meantime, I met many interesting people, grew up a lot, became quite sophisticated in my black clothing and serious face, and even dated a Vanderbilt! At least he said he was of that clan---and he seemed the real deal---we didn’t have Google in those days, so I took him for his word. He was kind, awkward, and slept through the opera----had obviously been there many times. He also took me to a political small gathering, where all the talk was of John F Kennedy and his dalliance with a movie star, named Marilyn Monroe. The media did not betray those secrets in that day, so it was years before I heard it officially on the news!
Eventually, I began to tire of big city ways and feared I had forgotten how to smile, so decided to leave and return to the west, where I prefer the open spaces, ready smiles, and where we don’t even necessarily wear black at funerals! But I’ll always miss New York and sometimes wish that I had stayed and really made it there----but even if I had, nothing is forever---not even The Tavern on the Green ---or the towers. But, for now, for me, all the world’s a stage---the show opens every day with a new cast and an ever changing story---I hope it takes me back to New York one more time---I need to tip Abe a little more.

A Glimpse

Once upon a time, not so long ago, and not very far away, in a very public, crowded place, I suddenly began to think I was having a heart attack! Never having had one before, I was not at all sure about this, but thought it wise to take the somewhat sharp pains in my chest seriously. After alerting my husband, son, and business associate, I soon found myself in the hands of paramedics. Before I knew it, I was bundled onto a stretcher, taking a harrowing ride down two escalators, out the door and into a waiting ambulance. Upon arriving at the hospital, I was treated as top priority--nothing like chest pains to move to the front of the line. Long story, short---hours later I was released with the doctor's diagnosis--"must be a virus---you'll probably be O.K.---can't be 100% sure." Virus never sounded so good. I'll take it---out of the shadows and back into the sunshine.

Life may not always be what we wish it to be, but to catch a glimpse of what it might be like to lose it, is to appreciate it all over again. Take everything, but leave life and loved ones, and I'm good to go.

Point of this story is what I know you already know, but bears repeating---good health is the best gift of all---and our best hope as we travel into this new year. If you have it, cherish it, if you don't, keep working at it, and if you are caring for someone who isn't feeling so good--well, you are their sunshine---and their greatest gift. Cherish that, too.

As we go bravely into this new world of 70-ism, please remind me to remember that our bodies don't necessarily know how old we are---unless we tell them!There's good evidence that says we send aging signals every time we refer to ourselves as old (it's not a badge or excuse!), or complain about every ache and pain, or neglect to stay fit by not exercising or eating right.

Okay, so---I'm thinkin' I'm really only 30--well, maybe 50 or 60, fit as a fiddle, and ready to kick you know what the first time someone offers me a rocking chair!

P.S. Did I mention that my right arm has been hurting for a year now?

Cheers, Kellee

FYI --For those of you that know about my son Tom's little girl, Addyson, and her difficult birth--to get the latest update, click onto his blog site: http://thomaslotz.com --another case of a scary glimpse. I know some of you have had your own glimpses---may the new year grant us only good glimpses!

Buh-bye 2009, See Ya, So Long

Here it comes---ready or not! 2010 is galloping towards us---she rides with all flags flying, fresh and new. The old year, worn and used up slinks off to the past. Old years are among the few things I don’t mind saying good-bye to---they’ve done their job, for better or worse----time to move on. I read somewhere that God gives us time because he wants us to grow up---I would think so.

But in general, I hate "good-byes"---with a passion. Not the casual," see ya latergater" type, or the "gotta run, bye-e-e-" or even the" buh-by" chirped so cheerily by airline personnel as you deplane. It's the more final departures that leave me feeling half there. I don't even like the word, "good-bye"-- what's good about leaving someone, even someone you may have just met --- like a fellow passenger on a 17 hour plane ride? Or the nice man at the hotel desk in Florence who gave you a tooth-brush package when your luggage got lost on the way to Italy? You know you will never see these people again--but you will always remember them.

But the really tough good-byes in life are those we all know about---some worse than others. For me, it started with the passing of my grandmother. I wasn't very close to her, but still I felt the cold finality of good-bye for the first time---o.k., so this is what it feels like, I thought. I can handle this---wrong. It got worse. Upon leaving home for the first time, and watching the pain on my mother's face, I thought, she feels worse than I do--but that made me sad also. After that, there was a long string of good-byes to friends, co-workers, and room-mates, some more painful than others, but aways the feeling that a piece of me had gone with them. After that, the good-byes seemed to stop for awhile as married life and children hummed merrily along---lots of hello's. Till one day, the family dog, Fritzi, our cock-a-poo who looked more like cross between a schnauzer and a raccoon, had to be put down---and guess who had to do the honors? As he lay gazing at me with his sad, tired eyes, I knew that he knew--he wasn't coming home again. I touched his licorice black nose, whispered "good-bye" , and felt the familiar ache of separation.

Saying good-bye to the children as they moved out of the nest was a mix of sadness, happiness, and relief----but some of them come back---and then you get another chance to say hello and good-bye again--and again. Finally, they are gone and then just when you think all the good-byes are done, they begin all over again. Losing one's parents is never easy, and if you're lucky, it's a slow good-bye as you watch them slowly age. As I watched my dad become old, sick, and then terribly robbed of his mind, it was actually a relief to see him go----he did not want to leave and did not say good-bye, but as he struggled for his last breath, my brothers and I gathered around as all children do---"save a place for us up there, Dad", "thanks for being our Dad", and then not able to say "good-bye", I mumbled---"you're outta here, Dad---you're free---go". That has been the worst pain so far, and I know there will be more. I also know that I have been very lucky to have not experienced much more and much worse. Life just isn't fair--some good-bys are too hard to even write about.

The philosophers among us say that we are all on a journey and that the people we meet along the way are all living lessons for us to learn from--they come and they go and we must learn and then let go. The lessons never stop. Recently we had to lay off a long-time employee and I wept as we did so---breaking up is hard to do. I used to wonder why some people used the older term of "so long"---now I know.

"Well, HELLO, Gorgeous!" That's a line from Funny Girl with Barbra Streisand, who says it with such unbridled joy and unabashed love to her wayward boy friend. I love it because it's so opposite from good-bye---it's what I keep trying to say to life and all my dear ones ---before the next good-byes come around. So, Hello, 2010!!! I hope you are gorgeous----I’ll even settle for mildly attractive.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

Love, Kellee