PICK YOUR POISON---PAT DOWN,PICTURE, OR THE OTHER "P" WORD???

Desperate times call for desperate measures---are we getting too desperate about our security and are you ready for the current wave of public outcry regarding airline travel and the accompanying body search precautions? Or perhaps I should say, are you ready for the next invasion of your privacy----make that a literal invasion of your privacy. "Would you prefer a very thorough pat-down, Sir, or a very complete and revealing x-ray of your entire, naked body?" One man has already revolted, and may get a hefty fine to remind him of his lack of rights when traveling by air. And now comes the news that Muslim women may not have to be searched below their necks--for religious reasons, don't you know. Talk about public outcry---if Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security Secretary, lets this one pass, she may feel not only the wrath of the American public, but the airline industry's as well, if people resort to other means of travel---and even the pilots, themselves, refuse to fly under such conditions.

As I write , this issue is escalating at jet like speed. Law suits have already been filed, and the debate is raging. Has the American public finally reached a boiling point regarding just how much they will tolerate and trade off for their security? As so often happens, the crux of the matter finally becomes apparent, as the outer layers of protest peel away the more obvious objections----yes, it's incredibly invasive, highly indignant, arguably humiliating, and totally against all that we stand for in our freedom loving society----and that brings us to the very thing we, as a country most abhor---the thought of a "police state" becoming ever more possible, as little by little, security measure by measure, necessary mandate by mandate, we give up our rights---in this case, our very personal rights. It is not only counter to all that we stand for, but ironic that in order to protect our way of life, we must give up much of what makes us who we are. But is there not a different, better way to ensure that people with evil, destructive motives and means, are not boarding our planes with us? Already, theTransportation Security Administration is considering altering and easing the new pat down and x-ray procedures in response to the public controversy. However, to put it bluntly--- if a plane blows up in the sky, will we not wish we had done any and everything we could to avoid such a horrific assault? We have to do, what we have to do. Right? That is the premise, the argument, and the trigger for the pat down and x-ray procedures we now face. But have we actually done all that we can do? Like the elephant in the room, there is another obvious. but not so palatable alternative.

And now we have come to the real, not so pretty, nor politically correct core of the debate--- its name is" passenger profiling". Israel does it quite successfully. But we have been more than
reluctant to use this method, even as we stared at the black, horrific hole of 9/11 and an enemy we knew was not done with us yet. To profile was to discriminate and tread upon our very sacred laws of civil rights. There are many who still feel this way. It tears unhistorically into the fabric of our culture and our values, and so we have been willing to allow all of us to be profiled, rather than just a suspicious few---grandmothers, children, wheelchair passengers, and now even our airline crews, all are subjected to the same scrutiny. But perhaps we have arrived at a point of being forced to look with a cold and pragmatic eye at our limited choices, as the terrorists overcome our security barriers, and back us into a corner. Some say they will have won, if we become a nation of suspicious paranoid profilers. But have they not already won on a larger scale, as we all, like sheep, succumb to allowing our very private selves to be probed and x-rayed? The argument will include those who say profiling will not work, as the terrorists begin to recruit those who do not fit the stereo-typical mold. And that is true, but not yet or in very many cases. Time is still on our side.and perhaps we should use it while we can. It would seem a huge deterrent to implement at least some sort of profiling in order that not all of us are denied our basic personal freedoms. Perhaps it is time to get mad, get real, and say like the character in the long ago movie--"we're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore." If that means profiling , then hopefully we can be forgiven our attempt to protect ourselves without bowing to draconian methods. It is the price of admission, and it is what it is. War? If not, it's close enough. Pat down or picture, Sir, or Ma-am ,or child? Neither, thank you--- not if there's another way. Desperate times call for desperate measures----

IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH???

Just saw "Hereafter", the new movie by Steven Spielberg and starring Matt Damon--. It was a nice respite from the political whirl we find ourselves in this month. The movie was about a man who seemingly could connect with the departed and even have brief conversations with them---conversations! See? A good chat may even go on after life---we really need to keep honing our skills!

The real crux of the story, however, was of the heartbreak of losing a loved one, and the yearning to re-connect, if only for a moment, and even if it's using someone else as a go-between. We cannot seem to accept the finality of death, and our hearts break over and over again as life dishes out the good-byes, one by one. It is the fate of our humanity that we live to die, but it is in our DNA to resist and rail against it, even though we know it is inevitable. But in the movie, one of the characters has a near death experience, in which she catches a glimpse of life hereafter. She knows it is true, and it changes her perspective and the direction of her life. There have been many who have written books on this issue, and most accounts of near death experiences are very similar. The scientific jury is still out on this topic, with some saying, the visions of a life after death are attributable to chemical and physical changes that happen to our bodies as we disengage from them. Still, the stories keep coming, and they bring with them intrigue, hope, and joy. Some even report that they did not want to return to this existence, as the one they had seen was indescribably better.

The movie depicts much of the sadness, stress, and turmoil of this life, but ultimately the happiness that is found in relationships that make being human so worthwhile---the exquisite love between a child and mother or a sibling--and of course, the magical love of two people who find each other and know that they belong together. But when separation happens, the pain can be almost unbearable for those who are left behind. And so, we seek solace in imagining and hoping for life after death---where we will meet our loved ones again---and sometimes even before, as depicted in the above mentioned movie. It's a dicey deal to make contact with the spirit world, and no one has ever proven it can actually be done. We are God's children, but we are also of the earth----heaven must wait, and so must we.

We are made for life's long journey----resilient and tougher than we know. Our hearts may break, but still we move on, heal, and love again. Most of us cling tenaciously to life, right on to the end, though I have a friend that insists that if she ever is afflicted with Alzheimer's, she will do away with herself---I hope she forgets to do it. It's not nice to return a gift, and I think it is written somewhere that there are no returns or refunds. But it does seem unfair, unjust, and even illogical that we should have to be extinguished at some point---and that is the great question of our existence. Why? For our sins? For some great cosmic plan? And what happens after our last breath? Many faiths offer answers, but no one knows for absolute certain. If only we could know that death is just a door to be walked through--if only someone could return and tell us so--according to the Christian faith, someone has. His name was Jesus Christ. We can either choose to believe it or not. When my father passed, I was there. I can tell you that even before he took his last breath, I knew without a doubt that he was undergoing a spiritual change---I could see it, feel it, and was awed by it. He had been transformed before he took his last breath, and it was crystal clear----it was as though I was seeing through to his soul. He was still my dad, but such a different version of him. I suppose you can say that my own personal beliefs colored my witness of that incident, and maybe you would be right---but I wasn't looking for and thinking of anything other than ways to comfort my dad in his last hours. I was profoundly changed by what I saw---and given hope and peace that there is a plan and a place for us, after all, and after here. Perhaps the many reports of life after death are God's way of telling us--"Do not worry, you are not alone, I am here---and I am waiting for you." And quite likely he might add----"Get your act together---and for God's sake, stop fighting, whining, and worrying incessantly. Enjoy the here, do your best, take care of each other, and I'll take care of the after."

As a child I was warned to stay away from the world of witch craft and fortune tellers----and I have. I was taught that there is indeed a spirit world, but that not only the good inhabit it----and we'd best keep our distance from it all. Ouiji boards even scare me. I have never tried to contact the dead, nor do I plan to. Movies about exorcisms make me want to hide under the bed. I prefer to keep my focus among the living. Recently a local fortune teller was found murdered----apparently she didn't see it coming---or her husband, who is now accused of the crime. If he did it, he's going to have some serious 'splainin' to do, and I hope his wife is waiting for him at the pearly gates----but more than likely, someone else will beat her to it. And He may have already chastened her for messing with His territory-----our job is to live this life to the best of our ability, and I like to think most of us are doing the best we can; His job is to show us the way home someday. May we all get there, and may we be met at those gates with a God who is more loving than judgemental, more kind than just, and who will greet us then with perhaps ---"Welcome, to the Hereafter, otherwise known as "Forever". I hope He likes to chat---'cause I've got lots of questions. But then, maybe He'll have a few for me---

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN---ARE YOU LISTENING, PRESIDENT OBAMA??

The American people are often referred to knowingly by politicians, as if they can read our minds and we're some kind of portable entity that can be handed around and used to their advantage. "The American people want ---this, or that", and of course it's always whatever the politician is trying to advance. Well, the people themselves, have now spoken---loud and clear. Make that loud, maybe not so clear--at least not to Pres. Obama. The message that got through was that things have changed since he took office. No longer the wildly popular man who was going to make everything better, President Obama looked chastened and tired as he gave his speech---but he did not seem to get the gist of the message the majority of voters sent. As though he couldn't bear to admit to wrong decisions and policies, he repeatedly stated that this defeat was due to the fact that he had not communicated his policies clearly enough---it isn't the clarity that's missing, Prez--- we get it. The question is: Do you? Whether it's the ailing economy, the continued over spending, the threat of higher taxes, or the very unpopular health care bill, or all of the above, this is a president and a country that's in trouble---and the people responded the only way they could--- with votes that screamed NO----we are not happy with the situation. Do something else, or we will replace you. It's a tough job, but you asked for it. Well, now is the time to show us what you're really made of. It is true, we handed you a mountain of problems as you entered the presidency, but it seems you added to them, perhaps even used them to build your own brand of government with the rationale that such things had to be done to save the country. The result has been a loss of confidence in you and in the direction you are taking us.You can start by losing the combative words, such as suggesting the Republicans "sit in the back of the car" "hand to hand combat"( a reference to how the congress will have to operate if the Republicans gain more power"), and simply allowing others to disagree without fear of public humiliation (Supreme Court Judge Roberts). You could also begin to make all of us feel more included in your circle, instead of referring to some of us as "the folks on the other side". You are the president of all us "folks"!

Whether President Obama finally hears the depth of desperation and outrage expressed by the majority of voters remains to be seen. Will he lead, according to what the majority wants, or just ask us to obediently follow his dictates? Is he capable for the purpose of rescuing himself and his party from a defeat in 2012, of being more pragmatic driven and less idealogical? If he is, then we will see a shift to the center; if not,we may see the very rapid demise of this once phenomenally popular president. This has got to be a tough decision for a man not accustomed to giving in and compromising. It is not his style, nor has he experienced the give and take that goes on in corporations, businesses, and even the Senate, where he served only for a short time. To add to his problems, there is the tug and pull within in his own party ---the extreme left, who feel he hasn't done enough to advance their agendas for bigger government, and those who are more moderate and think he has gone overboard. At some point, he will have to decide which way he will lead, and therein lies his destiny---and ours, perhaps, as well.

This mid term election was not just about the issues facing this country. The passion and over- all interest seems to indicate that it was at least just as much, maybe even more, a battle over ideologies. The deep divisions within this country go a lot deeper than the economy, though that is symtomatic of problems that need to be addressed. We are at this time, perhaps more than ever before, divided between two differing philosophies of governance--it's very simple---more or less government in our lives. It is time to make that decision, and the fight is on. The Republicans will now lead the charge for less government. There are those who believe there is no time for the Republicans to try to "go along, to get along", as is so typical in Washington politics, because too much has already happened to alter our traditional government, and that Obama's liberal agendas must be dramatically slowed or halted. It may not be advisable for the Republicans to play nice this time---the conservatives, with the tea party activists adding heavy influence, are watching. Ironically, if the Republicans choose to be more moderate against this very left leaning administration, they may be digging their own graves. Meanwhile, the Democrats are licking their wounds and already gearing up for the next election , with Obama leading the way--and at the same time challenged to dial down the divisive rhetoric and keep peace, or at least a civil tone with everyone----an impossible mission? There are those who have done it, like Clinton and Reagan. If Obama fails to complete his mission---he may be toast next time around. It all makes for the most exciting game in town---you gotta love politics!

Let us hope that we all find a way to keep our heads and our hearts steady as we go. We are in the midst of a huge narrative being discussed and written for all of us----will we retain our constitutional values and way of life, or will we dramatically change course and become more European in the way we choose to be governed? May we not lose sight of our original spirit and purpose---to be as independent as possible, while still caring for those who need it. And may we not forget that , unlike Obama's recent slip of the tongue would imply ---none of us are the" enemy". We are one people forging a way into a rather precarious future, with these common hopes---survival, and a quest to live well and free. However you feel, now is the time to join the "story" as it is being written. Become part of the dialogue-----because it's not "just politics" anymore. It's all about us and our children's life styles. economic well being, and even their security. Think about it, talk about, and let your opinions be known---so that the story of us will include and be the result of an informed, actively engaged public---not just some politician's idea of what "the American people" think or want.

BEWITCHED???

Have you ever felt bewitched---by someone or something? Well, it's never too late---and the most bewitching of days is almost upon us. Halloween, where anyone can become anything is almost here. To become a witch is one thing---but to become bewitched is quite another. The dictionary defines "bewitching" as being captivated or totally fascinated, as in under a spell, or like magic. Is that what happens when we "fall in love"? When your world turns from black and white to brilliant techn-nicolor? When your heart sings, and your feet want to dance? Probably, but there are other kinds of bewitchment---the birth of a child, your dream home, your first glimpse of a lovely new country, even a new idea or a new friend can totally bewitch and enchant. us out of ourselves into a state like no other. Frank Sinatra sang of it so convincingly with his song, "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered", and you get the impression that he liked the feeling----we all do. It's part of who we are in that we want to be taken from ourselves and into something else---but finding the bewitchable becomes harder as we grow older, more skeptical, and cynical. And so, we begin to lose the ability to become totally charmed or captivated by anyone,thing, or idea. Only occasionally do we allow ourselves to fall away into the spell of a beautiful song, or a sunset, or a person. We hold onto ourselves, as though we might give away too much and not be able to retrieve it, or someone might think we are too generous, loving, or even needy. And that is sometimes a good thing.

Bewitchment can even happen on a large scale to a country. In 2008, a very charasmatic black man with a strange name and very different background from the typical American, completely captivated a large portion of the American imagination Outside of having served in the Senate for a short time, he was a virtual stranger to most of us. But what he said and how he said it inspired the hopes and dreams of many----this man became our next and current president of the United States. When one would ask why someone voted for this virtual unknown, they would simply say, "I like him." No facts or policy beliefs were given as reasons, other than they were very disenchanted with George Bush, and the Iraq war. That was it--- It was as though , in spite of insufficient knowledge of Barack's substance, they wanted to align themselves with this almost magical force that was sweeping the country. Obama became not only the man of the hour, but some called him the "messiah", the savior of a weary country. We were, many of us, completely bewitched by this man and his fresh, cool syle. How long will the spell last? Obama is still liked personally, but his political popularity has dropped dramatically. This was a case of a whole country , or at least a majority, becoming so attracted to their idea of a man they barely knew, that they arrived at a point of adoration---enough to sweep him into office, against all odds. Bewitchment happened ---then reality set in. Obama was beset by huge problems and too many warring philosophies as to how to fix them. In the end, he seemed to fail completely to satisfy anyone, including those who were on his side from the beginning. The spell appears to have been broken, and now, as President Obama, watches his magic disappear, he still struggles to re-capture earlier believers with his speeches. It remains to be seen if he will once again find a way to bewitch, or even better, show us by his actions and his words that he is a leader we can truly all follow and trust. That may not be so magical, but it would be bewitchment of a different kind---- faith and loyalty to a man who shows he can transcend even his own esoteric views to serve a whole country, not just a piece of it.

Recently, I attended a symphony which featured music by Beethoven. You could feel the audience warming, becoming totally appreciative, and finally bewitched. Their standing ovation was their way of saying "thank you, not only for the music, but for carrying us away for awhile. But there are those who feel certain kinds of music, such as heavy metal, rock 'n roll, or rap can impact, bewitch, if you will, our children in a negative way.
So, even music, the universal language demands our scrutiny.

Every now and then, in our own smaller circles, someone, even a complete stranger comes along and lights up a moment or longer with their smile, or their attitude, or their delightful personality. Celebrities and athletes often fall into this category. You want to be in their company, to bask in their light, and see the world through their cheerful prism. Choose your object of bewitchment carefully. Children, on the other hand, with their zest for life sprinkle magic on our lives. So do good books, wonderful pets, supportive friends and spouses. We are the magic for each other. I look for it every day, and sometimes find it; other times I simply long for it. I want to be bewitched, to know that feeling of leaving myself, off to another sphere of reality where I no longer care what anyone thinks, or how I look, or anything at all. I am in the zone of a magical feeling-----bewitched, beyond ego, and blissful to the point of a peace that comes when one is resonating with the joy of complete surrender to something or someone. I feel it when my grand daughters rush into my arms to give me a hug. or when I catch a first glimpse of the sea after a long absence, or when I hear the voice of a beloved friend who calls every now and then, and a million other little things that have very little to do with material wealth and everything to do with satisfying the part of us that knows we are more creatures of spirit than body. That spirit wants to adore, loves to laugh, love, and share with another in the exquisite synergy that occurs when one is bewitched. It reminds us of our quest for joy, out of ourselves, free of anything that keeps us from being complete and burdened by life's cares and stress---we are broomless, but over the moon with a magical spell called happiness. It only comes in dribs and drabs, for we are bound to earth with responsibilities, boundaries, cares, and stress, but once a year, an opportunity for it knocks on your door---- it's Halloween and it says to all who would listen, c'mon out and play, pretend, feel the magic. I used to know a lady who was the mom of a good friend. Every Halloween she would dress as a very believable witch and go door to door by herself, long after her children had grown beyond trick or treating, laughing and cackling. It was a neighborhood tradition, and we all thought she was a little bit, well--- eccentric. She probably was, but maybe she knew something we didn't---we're never to old to be be-witched!

Enjoy your Halloween----may you even become a little bewitched with all the little goblins and not too irritated with the larger, older ones, knowing that they, too, need to pretend. Maybe you'll even even become a witch, instead of bewitching! But come next Tues. Nov. 2, it's time to return to reality----vote and vote without bewitchment---because this one is, if not for all the marbles, many of them. Do we want a government to be our nanny, our caretaker, our big brother? Or do we want a government that allows for more individual freedoms and business and free enterprise, the life blood of our economy, to flourish without so much government interference that it chokes on it and finally dies? Whatever happens, may we finally begin to be a nation once again proud, healthy, strong, and a leader among nations, not one to be chastised and apologetic for who we are. That's not us for long---bewitched, maybe, but not without an antidote---it's called a blow-back, followed by a come back, or the generic term----voting. "Witch" ever you choose, may God bless America, as we grope forward in the present darkness of this slogging economy---trick or treat??

A BATTLE FOR POWER BEGINS-----VOTE!!!!

Here we go again---election time, USA style, is upon us. Are you enjoying all the very biased political ads? The insulting TV commercials? The recorded nuisance phone calls by various and assorted politicians or survey takers? It's all part of the game called politics, but this year it's serious business, even though it's just the mid-term election. The balance of power is hanging in the balance, as many seats in both the Senate and the House are up for grabs Obama and administration are running scared, as they face heavy criticism about the state of the economy, worsening unemployment, and the still very dubious health care bill. All predictions point to the Republicans winning landslide victories in the upcoming races---but don't count on it yet. President Obama is not about to fold his cards, and is once again on the campaign trail trying to make his now very familiar case that the country's woes are all the Republicans' fault, and that given more time, he and his heavily slanted congress will fix what's broken. Perhaps, but Americans can be a fickle people, falling in love with a President for awhile, then becoming disenchanted and even bitter if they feel he is not the man they thought he would be. Many feel that while he may need more time, what he's shown so far is not to their liking---the change has been too much, and the hope has never materialized. Instead, we've been given a heavy dose of, if not socialism, then the next thing to it, with government being given more and more power as a fix for all that is wrong. The feeling in some quarters is that we can't afford to allow Obama and his extreme left wing medicine much more time. Things are moving too swiftly in the wrong direction, and perhaps now, as never before, the Republicans and even some Democrats feel it is urgent to swing the balance of power at least more to the middle before it's too late, and we are then stuck with legislation that will be harmful and too difficult to remove for years to come.

Many presidents, including President Clinton, when faced with a disapproving public, moved more compromisingly to the center of the political spectrum, but Obama is not a "centrist", and perhaps may never become one. He is a man who believes so ferociously in his convictions and his vision of America that he is willing to gamble even his political future and that of his party on them. He feels in his gut that he is doing the right thing for the general good, and appears to have no intentions of being swayed. Instead, in an effort to stave off the tsumani of predicted defeat within his ranks, he continues to rail against the right, even making false and unsupported statements, to convince voters to once again believe in him, most recently demonstrated by his remarks regarding the United States Chamber of Commerce, a non-profit lobbying organization for businesses in the U.S., accusing them of using "foreign monies" to finance ads against him. Upon investigation of this charge, there was absolutely no evidence of foreign money being used for campaign financing. It was a careless, unsupported criticism, made by a president who was looking for a way to disrepute his opponents. Yes, there are other politicians from both sides who have committed the same sin of baseless accusations; however, it seems the president should be above this kind of rhetoric. But, no matter, this is a man with a radical world view quite different from any previous president, and a steely determination to drive it home, including the abuse of power once in a while. Instead of moving more to the center, he digs in even more, and announces to us during a speech that the reason we are worried is that we are fearful, and that our judgement is therefore clouded. Is this not a sign of arrogance? Does he think he is smarter and wiser than all of us? Should he speak so condescendingly to our concerns? And is this the hallmark of a man who feels he knows best, in spite of philosophical differences to the contrary, and will continue to rule with a hard hand and unbending might---as he did with the passage of the health care bill, which was obviously a work of forced legislation, even among his own skeptical party members? Is it "my way, or the highway", that regardless of whether he and his party go down, he will pridefully feel he has succeeded, because his views were implemented, like them or not, and he will have changed the course of this country's destiny? The stakes are high, and there are, indeed, those from both parties who are fearful, not only about this country's future, but their own as well. But for now the Dems seem to be obediently marching lock step to their leader's rallying cry---"don't let them drive our car back into the ditch!"

The Republicans, on the other hand, have a lot to worry about as well. Unlike the Dems, they do not all bow to one master or one platform of ideas. They seem to have the opposite problem, in that they do not seem to have a cohesive message . The grand old party has become unwieldy, and without any clear leader. Their views range from moderate to conservative to extreme right wing and they can't seem to get their act together. In the meantime, the Tea Party Express does have one main message---"throw the bums out" seems to be it. They have no trouble making themselves clear--much less government control is their chief rallying cry, and they are not afraid to say so. Already they are threatening to become a third party by their sheer ever growing numbers. This does not bode well for the Republicans, but perhaps it's time for them to morph into a more effective choice of contrast against the ever left leaning Democrats. Though labeled "the party of no" by the Democrats, they have been rendered practically powerless by the onslaught of bills passed which give the government historic control. It has been laughable to hear them described as "obstructionists" by President Obama and those of his party. How can they obstruct such a majority of Democrats in the congress? They can push back, make noise, hold filibusters, but they cannot, at the end of the day, hold back the will of a one partisan machine. And perhaps, therein lies the seeds of discontent now making itself known in the country----the imbalance of power is making a lot of us uncomfortable.

The country has gone through many presidents and many pendulum swings of policies and ideologies, and we at heart kind of like it that way. So did our founding fathers, who designed our government in such a way to keep us balanced ----but have we lost our balance? At this point in time, the pendulum seems to have swung too far, too fast---and President Obama is right when he says we are afraid--- but we will be the judge of our reasoning. He and his party were elected to lead, but not to pull and push us over the edge of our concerns. Lockstep isn't our style. Neither is a one sided government for very long. But the votes are not in yet. Much can still happen, as each party girds for the battle about to ensue---split tickets, independent and minority voters, attack ads from both sides, complacency,world events, and yes, even a president who may yet undergo an epiphany and decide to change and begin to speak more inclusively, instead of dividing us into the "they's" and "we's". And the most important unknown? The true American mind. Polls are just polls, and don't always reflect the heart and soul of a nation.

We are a nation deeply polarized. But Americans have a way of sorting through things. We may be fickle, but we are true to our belief in ourselves and the fact that it is our country, and does not belong to any one party or one president. It is ours to mold and shape and become what we, in all our diversity, will create. That's what elections are all about----the coming together of the people to speak---many voices, but one clear mandate---we will decide for ourselves, and we will have the last say. Be sure to let your voice be heard--vote on November 2cnd!!!!

BULLIES IN OUR SCHOOLS, HOMES, AND POLITICS

This week the news was full of a national epidemic and the tragic results. Bullying is the shame of this country in our schools, and more recently on the internet, where some kids have learned it is great sport to bully, tease, and threaten unmercifully. It has resulted in several suicides across the country. Statistics show that 15-25% of school children are bullied and that bullying begins in elementary school, continues on through high school, and tapers off finally in college. It has gone on far too long, while teachers have either turned their backs on the problem, or sometimes even participated in the derision or teasing of certain students. Even some parents seem to ascribe to the notion that bullying is part of growing up. I have always despised that excuse---bullying in the school yard , the school halls, or the internet is far worse than anything adults usually encounter in the outside world and it is naive to think that anything can be gained by either the bullier or the bullied---it is wrong, terribly damaging, and dangerous. Last week a college student committed suicide after learning that his room mate had video taped him and a friend of the same sex engaging in a sexual act, and then ran it on the internet for all to see.

The schools are at long last trying to curb this cruel, childish behavior and it is high time. Some states have enacted anti-bullying laws. Our children deserve better than to have to go to school afraid, but more afraid to tell anyone, for fear there will be even worse consequences. Several years ago, a boy by the name of Matthew Shepherd, a student at the University of Wyoming, was tortured, beaten, tied to a fence and left to die on a cold winter night at the hands of two local boys. The reason? He was gay. I will never forget the look of anguish on the face of Matthew's mother as it appeared in a local paper. She went on to advocate for anti-hatred laws. For those who think such laws are unnecessary and are redundant---take a look at the statistics. Hate crimes, especially against gay people are far too many, and if the laws already on the books won't stop it, then more needs to be done. The dirty little secret is that for too many years, gay people have been considered fair game for jokes, smirks, stares, and bullying---and not just in schools. It has been considered o.k., even among otherwise sophisticated, educated, and well mannered people, to giggle or make disparaging jokes about people of different sexual orientations, as though this was the one group of people that society as a whole deemed beneath their respect and protection of rights. Have we as a society changed our attitudes toward the gay and lesbian among us? Hopefully, as they have decided to "come out", we have more increasingly learned to clean out our pre-conceived judgements and very damaging indictments against them. How dare we judge another for their right to live their private lives as they choose, and for which they may have no choice but to be who and how they were born to be. "Don't ask, don't tell", the standard rule of conduct for the military is now being challenged by the gay rights champions. One hopes they win this important battle of rights, but one also hopes they will not pay for it with bullying as a result of their right to be honest.

Peer pressure is intense in school, and can be in part blamed for some of the bullying that goes on , but the bully is often born at home, not at birth, but by parents who allow and even foster belittling of others, whether it is of a sexual nature, or related to dress, color, class, religious or learning disabilities. To tolerate, even by silence, is to perpetuate prejudice and even give permission to become a bully. Parents are now being advised to not only guard against their child being bullied, but to also watch for signs that he or she is perhaps becoming or is, in fact, a bully. It is always heart warming to see the out pouring of grief and sympathy for student suicide victims by their fellow classmates---but the thought also occurs that it is too little, too late. Should we not be doing more to teach our children to stand against any kind of bullying they may witness, and not let it go unnoticed and without peer disapproval?

Society will probably never rid itself of bullying, for there will always be those who glean pleasure from assuming a mean, superior role to others. But it seems good manners and civil behavior could be stressed more ---it isn't enough to teach the pleasantries of " please" and "thank you". Self esteem has been the ultimate goal of many parents in recent years, and that's all well and good---but let us not forget to teach the importance of esteeming others. It would seem we need more role models for good and kind behavior both for our children and ourselves. We are not always getting it from our most obvious and visible heroes and celebrities. And we are certainly not getting it from our political leaders. Pointing out flaws of the opponents seems to go with the territory, and as we enter this election season, we will be subjected to what seems to be an acceptable form of bullying, in the form of character attack ads from both ends of the political party spectrum. Differences of view points are one thing , as disagreement with positions and policies are essential for healthy debates and decision making, but personal assassination and deliberate public put downs are quite another. Bullies are found everywhere, sometimes even in a President, who can use his pulpit to continuously belittle and make fun of his opponents. Let's hope this political season does not fall further to that level of childishness. We are watching, and so are our children. May we strive to set a good example of good will towards all men---even those we are at complete polar opposite. There is another way---civil discourse. How refreshing it would be to see more of that in our political debates.

Bullies are found everywhere, and while they are mostly bred at home, they are only allowed to flourish if society allows them to do so by turning a deaf ear, a blind eye, or worse, joining in. Most of us do not join in---but by remaining silent, we are condoning. God bless those who find the courage to speak up against even subtle slurs. Political correctness, though at times annoying, has become part of our culture, because we needed to reign in our tongues----may we continue to watch not only what we say, but what we feel, and just as importantly, what we are teaching our children by example---so that someday, we can look at them, be proud, and say---bully for you!!

THE TEA PARTY PHENOMENON

In case you haven't noticed, it's election time again in this country. Yes, mid-term elections are coming up in November, and you will surely know by then, that this will be an important, contentious time for both parties---or should we say three parties? There's a new kid on the block this year, and it remains to be seen how much of an impact the kid known as "The Tea Party" will make on the public consciousness This is not your basic nuisance third party. These people are a grass roots movement, which has sprung up as a result of their discontent with both the current administration and their extreme liberal agenda and the Republican party and in their view, not exreme enough conservative agenda. Like many new kids, this one has endured ridicule and even outright shunning. Some say they will split the Republican party; others say they will re-shape, take over, and become the new Republican party. Their numbers are growing, and regardless of how the Republicans are feeling about this, the Democrats are not amused with this upstart faction that they, try as they may to marginalize them, cannot ignore.

This is a tide that is worth watching, as their voices rise, and the pundits and media clearly don't quite know what to say about them. The Democrats on one hand have tried to paint them as biased, rabble rousers, while the Republicans for the most part have stood by watching them steal their thunder. Afraid to endorse them, yet too stymied by their influence to divorce them, they seem puzzled at this rather unpolitically astute, anti-establishment bunch of people that seem to have the wind at their backs in these troubling times. Their message is simple and clear----stop the trend of more and more government control,more spending, and higher taxes--- and it appears to be resonating. In spite of reports to the contrary, they seem to be a very well behaved and respectful group. At the same time they appear to be highly motivated and passionate--perhaps driven by their fear that their country is being led way too far to the left. One wonders if they are not the newest kid on the block, but perhaps have been there all along, the so called "silent majority", middle class Americans, politely and respectfully going along with the political process, allowing things to run their course---but now feeling that things have gotten too far out of hand and it is time to stand up and be counted.

They are making strides--Christine O'Donnell, Tea Party representative, has just pulled off the biggest upset of the year in the state of Delaware, winning the primary nomination for United States Senator against an incumbent Republican. Of course, the personal attacks have begun, and she will have to weather the storm of dirty politics---welcome to the world of "Gotcha!". Sara Palin, one of the early spokeswoman for the Tea Party, and a favorite punching bag of the dems and the media, continues to draw huge crowds. How is it that this plain spoken, not exactly erudite woman can become such an overnight political sensation? No, she doesn't have the experience, the education, the in depth international knowledge, or political smoothness one expects from a leader---but she is catching up fast, and she speaks in a way many people understand and trust--- her words echo their pent up concerns. Plain spoken, sincere, and hard hitting--she refuses to be bowed and is, like it or not, a force to be reckoned with. Again, her message is, like the Tea Party, 'we will no longer be silent or ignored---hear us roar.'

And so, as each side takes their places and gears up for a battle in the Novemberr, elections, the public will complain and grouse about all the negativity that the political process breeds in this country. But we should grow up. That's life in the U.S.A. As long as there is free speech, the speech isn't always pretty. It is true, that the process gets very messy and dirty at times, but that is the way of our democracy. It is the "sausage making" of a people who will eventually decide who they wish to lead and what policies and philosophies they want to follow. There is a great national debate being waged, the likes of which we have not seen in this country in a very long time. You will not hear it in social circles, but the dialogue is going on in hearts, minds, and homes across the land. You will read about it in the papers, and hear of it on television, but much of that will be subjective reporting. The subject matter has little to do with labels such as the "Tea Party", or Liberals, or Conservatives, but everything to do with the philosophy of each group.

This country is undergoing huge change, with one side pulling for more government control and more taxes to support it; the other resisting the concept of being cared for and believing that the country and its citizens will benefit more by allowing for more individual power and fewer taxes The tug and pull of more or less government is nothing new, and has been raging since the birth of this country. It came to a dramatic head at one time in the Boston Harbor--"The Tea Party" was born and it is rocking and rolling again---you may or not wish to be invited, but you will hear them. "Diss" them, admire, or join them. It does not appear they are going away very soon. Check them out, but before you dismiss them--they may be more like you than you care to admit---if not, there's another couple parties going on down the block. Choose carefully and know your party's theme. The hosts may be handsome, pretty, smart, and cool, but do they really stand for your best interests? I hate cliches, but now more than ever, our choices matter.

There are some who eschew "going" to any party, but rather they like to think they vote "for the man, or the woman". But the lines are drawn, and the man or woman you choose will espouse and follow the party's dictates---their careers depend upon it, which is too often the sad motivation of those who promise "change" in Washington. The real change must come from the people, who will demand it from the ground up--- and that can make for tense times---care for a cup of tea?