THE BIG SPILL---NO MORE DRILL!!

"Drill, Baby, Drill" is a phrase you're not likely to hear real soon. It has been hushed by the largest oil spill in U.S. history---and a president who will surely use it to advance his own agenda, which includes very limited drilling and an alternative energy bill which will tax oil companies for excessive carbon pollution, other wise known as "cap and trade". Highly controversial,this bill has passed the House, but lingers now in the Senate for the President to find the right time to convince the American people to support this bill , the expense of which will surely be passed onto the consumer. As in the past with the economic crisis resulting in unparelled government bailouts, he may have found that moment.

The spill has completely over shadowed every other issue , and President Obama, in an effort to quell criticism of his questionable leadership abilities during this crisis, gave yet another speech Tuesday night in the Oval office of the White House. Proving once again, that he is not a man of few words, Obama spoke forcefully, if not somewhat dis-connectedly regarding his role and that of his administration in punishing those who are responsible, namely BP (British Petroleum).But little was said about cleaning up the mess or stopping the leak, and much focus and blame was put on not only the oil company but also its regulatory agency, MSS (Minerals Management Service). After slapping a job-killing six month moratorium on all off shore drilling, pre the speech, Obama followed by proclaiming that he would request that BP put monies in an "escrow" account to be paid out to all the out of work fishermen and others affected by the spill . The president's tone and demanding demeanor were stunning ---how could even the President of the United States imply such authority over a privately owned company? The more normal procedure for national disaster compensation is to go through our court system--not via presidential pressure.

But Obama exhibited, as usual, his moral outrage and stern fatherly determination to call out those who caused this huge environmental disaster and go after them. One wonders if perhaps the government regulatory agency should also be punished for not doing their jobs---and perhaps Obama himself for not paying more attention---oh, but he was very busy with other issues---like the health care bill and the banks, and the automobile companies---there is just so much one man can do. He can't be expected to run the whole country---can he??

Shocking even Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann, two very left wing political commentators , they broke ranks and very uncharacteristically said that they could not believe Obama's presumed authority to so strongly insist that BP acquiesce to his payout wishes. Would there not be a court battle or at least some time for BP to "lawyer up", they wondered? But, no---the morning after the speech, Obama seemed to have gotten his way. The oil company appeared to have "rolled over" and surprisingly agreed to put aside twenty billion dollars for compensation to the victims of the oil spill. It has also been disclosed that an additional one hundred million will be set aside and eventually disbursed to those put out of work due to the moratorium demanded by President Obama! And this could possibly be just a down payment for more funding if requested by President Obama, as he would not agree to a limit of BP's compensation amount. Under U.S. law, these amounts of money far exceeded the legal requirement, which is seventy five million. Some of the money will come from dividends which were promised earlier to investors--some from profit, and some will undoubtedly show up in the price of gas. At first glance, this all seems wonderfully generous and certainly one does not begrudge the victims of a fair amount of compensation---but does it not make you just a little uncomfortable to see the President wielding so much power over private enterprise? Was this a huge PR attempt by BP? Were the executives so easily and quickly persuaded ---or were they threatened ? And is our capitalistic system threatened when the President can suddenly become their CEO? There is not, nor should there be, any great sympathy for BP---they should have had a better plan in place for such a huge leak, and they are big enough to overcome the financial losses of their financial responsibilities. But accidents do happen and this one should not preclude the argument for drilling our own oil or for more government take over of private enterprise.

President Obama plays the blame game very well, often using former President Bush as his scape goat, but soon it will be time for him to own up to his own mistakes and mis-handlings. No one expects perfection, but this President seems more interested in singling out and punishing those who represent opposing views to his particular ideologies, rather than acting as facilitator and representative of all the people---not just those of his own beliefs. With his approval polls slipping recently and many people beginning to wonder if this man is changing our country too fast and too radically, Obama's speech was more about shoring up his flagging popularity, and showing us all who's boss, than actually doing something about the problem. His reluctance to use our own resources, militarily and with extra booms and other equipment that were available for clean-up of the oil spill, coupled with his refusal to allow other countries to assist, are curious and frustrating.

Does this man belong in the White House? He appears to be noble, with his own vision, but somehow not presidentially able to lead a whole country--which requires more than his own vision. Only time will tell---but there are more and more people, some of whom are in his own party, who are beginning to ask if he may be trying to fulfill a job, to quote Obama himself , that is" above his pay grade"?

A Family Wedding

Is there anything more joyous--or stressful than a family wedding? Last weekend was a reminder of how this momentous occasion can be such a mix of emotions that it leaves me feeling like I need oxygen. My nephew married his high school sweetheart and as the two of them emotionally spoke their vows in a lovely new church, my mind swirled with memories of past weddings, my own included. "I do", "I will", "I promise"---such heavy words for such young people. How can they possibly know what they are doing or who they may become over a lifetime? Will they grow together---or apart over the years? I glanced at my husband sitting next to me, then down to the rest of the long pew which seated our three children, their spouses, and all their children---the beautiful results of my own marriage 47 years ago, almost to the day. I wished the about- to -be husband and wife well, and tried to relax and just enjoy the ceremony as it unfolded---but weddings always make me a little nervous---and this was no exception. The day had started out well enough, with plans to get everybody to the church in time for a pre-ceremony family photo session.including my elderly mother, who had her own built up anxieties about not being able to have the strength to make it , and rightly so. Not having slept the night before she had awakened with extreme dizziness and fatigue----when you're 90 years old, it's hard to dismiss these symptoms as "nothing serious". Should we call the doctor? Will the day be ruined? But, thinking that she might just be dehydrated, I suggested she drink some water and rest a bit. That must have done the trick, because she called later, miraculously revived and once again fretting that we would not get her to the church in time!! We did, the pictures got taken, as we all straggled in one family at a time, and I myself almost had a melt-down worrying that someone would get left out of the great picture taking event. Later, mom got ushered down the aisle by a young man who did not know the meaning of" slowly"---I held my breath for fear she would stumble or faint from over exertion, but she had no problem at all and seemed to lose all her years as she floated like a young woman, adrift in her lovely chiffon dress and grand-motherly pride. She had made it after all, as had so many more of us to witness this long awaited event and widening of our family circle. "I now pronounce you husband and wife". It was suddenly over, and yet, it was just beginning-- I began to breathe a little easier as I watched the new man and wife flow back down the aisle, beaming and actually shouting with joy.

No stranger to weddings, I don't know why I find the tying of the knot, so nerve-wracking. After the actual tying, I am fine---but the ceremony has always made me a" train wreck". I thought back on my daughter's big day some years ago. All went reasonably well, considering we did not have the luxury of a "wedding planner". But a few days before the event, my husband severely ruptured his achilles heel, while playing tennis with me! I turned around to see him on his knees and I practically went to mine---no, not now, I thought---not now! The surgery was put off until after the wedding and he managed to make it down the aisle on crutches with our daugher while I prayed every inch of the way that he would not trip on her dress. His complexion was as white as her dress as he awkwardly and excrutiatingly made his way to the alter and through the ceremony. The day was full of joy, but not without stress---and a good deal of pain medicine.

Weddings are wonderful----but somehow I'm always glad when they're over. I like the reception---the food, the dancing, the toasts---the palpable sense of relief that permeates the room. Maybe it's because I know so well all the thought that goes into the planning, the guest lists, the menu, the possible hurt feelings for those left out of this or that, and on and on. And maybe its because I remember my own pre-wedding nerves when in the middle of all the excitement I suddenly began to think of the words--"till death shall we part". OMG---that's a very long time, I thought---could I do that? Could he do that? Could we do that? Toward the end of my newphew's and his bride's reception , the disc jockey played "Sunrise, Sunset", and finally, listening to the words, I relaxed and thought,Yes---it actually is " I do"-able. The days of our lives are doled out, one sunrise, sunset at a time---how very fortunate and lovely to share it all with one's true love. But is it okay if I step outside for some air?

As the evening finally wound down, and we left the reception building, we were bid farewell by the still beaming groom and his bride, who somehow now looked like a husband and wife. Moving further outside I noticed two huge movie klieg lights, the type that are used to announce all manner of grand openings, award shows, etc. My nephew, a film major, had added this final dramatic touch to his joyous celebration. The two white, bright lights criss crossed and lit up the night sky, as if to say---something special just happened! Indeed it had. My wedding nerves finally gone, I gave the new husband a hug and rejoiced at the look of sheer happiness on his face. Congratulations, dear newlyweds---viva l'amour! May it last and last and last---

SEX IN THE CITY 2----LOVED IT!!!

Looking for a good movie this weekend? Treat yourself to a frothy romp in" Sex And The City 2".Yes, it's a "chick flick"--- but your other choices are "Ironman" or "Shrek". So grab a chick and go for a fun time in Abu Ghadi. It's filled with gorgeous clothes, exotic sets, witty dialogue, pretty women, and the men aren't bad either. What I loved most was the unabashed , wicked humor of the women as they clashed with the men of Abu Ghadi and their stifling culture toward women ---Kim Catrell, who plays Samantha in the movie, was hilariously and politically incorrect (OMG) as she physically fought with the men in a street brawl---she won and declared her victory in a well, shall we say---most finger pointing way. It was refreshing to see a movie that wasn't so uptight about itself , wasn't trying to send a subtle political message, and was just plain, outrageously, over the top funny, visually exotic and beautiful, even poignant at times. And, oh yes, the title lives up to its name---there was a bit of that in the movie too, so if that offends you, better not go---because "Sex in the City 2" sizzles with a saucy nod and a flirty wink. But you'll be missing a good time and a chance to be "crazy in Abu Ghadi".

If you haven't guessed by now, I love going to the movies---yes, I said "going". Sitting in your cozy home watching a DVD is nice and private, but just doesn't have the same, in your face, appeal.The community experience of laughing and sometime weeping is part of the fun, and the popcorn is----oh yeah, sinfully, fatfully the best!! The only thing I don't like are the teens who still don't get that "Please turn off your cell phones" includes NOT TEXTING, as well!!! Am I getting old, or does anybody else get just a tad irritated with this habit? Not only does it irritate me in the movies, but I find it insulting to be talking to someone who is texting while attempting to carry on a conversation with me---excuse me, but I'm right here in person. Should I call you instead? Then we could both be texting at the same time to each other---groovy! Of course, the latest thing is the Iphone, so things are only to get worse, as direct eye to eye social communication will become even less attractive than all the buttons that can connect the user to practically the whole world .I read that young people are going to lose the ability to read actual, live body language as they interact with others, due to the fact that they are interacting mostly with their buttons and voices! Maybe that's why I still love the simple pleasure of going to the movies---no electronics needed, just your eyes, ears, mind, and soul---lights out, phones off----pass the popcorn!!

A FRIEND COMES TO VISIT--THE YOUNGEST SURVIVOR OF "SCHINDLER'S LIST"

Imagine being a child of nine or ten, living a quiet life with your mom, dad, brothers and sister in a small town in Poland. Then slowly, your world begins to fall apart. The events leading up to the Holocaust happened so gradually, and were so seemingly small at first, even illogical and almost ridiculous, that people didn't feel particularly life threatened. Their basic rights were being taken from them, one insidious step at a time, but they had been through something similar with the Russians during World War I , and they thought it would run its course and that things would return to normal. Leon Leyson was one of those children who noticed that he was not allowed to sit on the park bench anymore. Then, the park itself became off limits for people like him. He certainly noticed when he was prohibited from attending school any longer. He also noticed when he was forced to wear the star of David on his clothing. And he very much noticed that he was beginning to be shunned, for he was now called an "enemy of the state". It all seemed very strange to the young boy. Then, one day his brother disappeared, never to be seen again. Leon, his remaining brothers, a sister, and his mother, who by this time had been forced to live and eventually go into hiding in the Polish ghetto, were finally taken away to a concentration camp. His father, however, was working for a Mr. Schindler in a factory. This, as it turned out, was to be the Leyson family's saving grace.

Mr. Schindler, who began to see the utter horror that was happening, used his considerable influence, charisma, and wealth to help save over a thousand Jews. He made a list of names of those he called "experts" in his field of factory workers. Those on the list were to be taken away from the concentration camps and almost certain death, in order to work for Mr. Schindler. Leon's father persuaded Mr. Schindler to put his entire family on the life saving list. But even in spite of their names being on the list, Leon's mother and sister almost didn't make it, as they were mistakenly put on a train bound for one of the death camps, but were rescued by Mr. Schindler. One of Leon's brothers was on the same train with his girl friend, had the choice to get off, but refused to leave his girl friend---both died. Leon, himself almost did not make it, as he somehow got into the wrong line---but, as fate would kindly have it, he managed to plead with the guard who uncharacteristically let him go with his family. As a result, the Leyson family survived, and today Leon is the youngest surviving survivor of the group known as "Schindler's List"., the same title as the movie which was so popular some years ago.

Leon came to our town last weekend to tell his personal account of the above story. For many years, he did not speak of his experiences to anyone outside his immediate family. But finally he decided that it was his responsibility to share his memories, in the hope that all who hear will stand as guardians against the evil that allows hatred to grow to such unspeakable, incredible proportions. He builds his story around Oskar Schindler, a man who made a difference, one name at a time on a list.

Leon's story is told quietly, with dignity and little graphic drama, but the shock and hurt are still etched in his face and his voice as he struggles still to overcome the tide of emotion brought on by the re-telling of his family's harrowing experiences and irretrievable losses. At the end of his talk, there was a question and answer period. One of the questions was whether Leon could find it in his heart to forgive those who had trespassed against him and so many others. His answer was simple and direct--"No. I do not have the authority to forgive. That would be up to those who died at the hands of the perpetrators. " Leon is one of the gentlest, kindest men I have ever known. But he is also an honest man who told his story and his truth, right down to that answer.

Leon also was asked if , because of all he went through, his faith was still intact. His quiet answer---"What can I say---I am a Jew". That said it all ---because of who he was, he paid an incredible price; and because of who he is, he is inextricably tied to his faith. At that moment, the audience went dead silent---the man and his story all came together in one clarifying, elegant, and proud statement.

The Leysons have been good friends of ours for many years. Our friendship was forged with little knowledge of the above story, but our lives are enriched by knowing this man and his wife. It is one thing to read about the Holocaust. It is quite another to hear it from the lips of one who, through a series of very fortunate and unfortunate events lived to tell about it. It is possible for one person to make a difference, and Leon is doing his utmost best---may he succeed, one person at a time, and may this sad story never be forgotten--because even now, there are those who claim the Holocaust never happened. These same people have no sympathies for the Jews and their one homeland, Israel. Extreme vigilance is needed to see that the creeping, slow sludge of apathy,oppression, and hatred is stopped before it can spread out of control again. Don't think it can't happen again---it is happening now in different parts of the world and could happen anywhere. The overwhelming aggression that can build within groups of extreme religions , overly powerful governments, or any kind of radicalism, against anybody they perceive to be dangerously against their views, or "enemies of the state" --- or "infidels", are almost beyond our imagination---imagine.

To Mom, With Love---90 years Old, But Who's Counting?

If you are lucky, you still have a parent living---maybe two if you are very lucky. My Mom will be 90 years old in June and is still reasonably healthy for her age. When I was a little girl, I used to pray that nothing would ever take her from me. Now, I pray that she not have to stay longer than she can happily manage. We are going to celebrate her life with a big party---her idea!! She thinks 90 is quite an accomplishment, and we couldn't agree more. But that isn't to say she's thrilled about being 90---she despises it, complains about it a lot, and often says she's ready to go. I don't believe it---where she's ready to go is---shopping !! Problem is, she doesn't have the energy anymore, and that makes her very frustrated and sad. That's the ironic unfairness of old age---your mind and spirit don't grow old like your body does. Inside my mother's body is maybe a 30 year old, aching to get out. I see her in there when I gaze at her still lovely blue eyes, and I wish I could turn back the clock---but it keeps relentlessly ticking and with each passing year, she becomes more frail. She is still like no other 90 year old lady I've ever met----bright as a button, sharp as a tack, and more beautiful than any young person can ever be. I will miss her when she's gone, like no other person I've ever known---even more than my Dad, whom I adored. Mom has been my best friend and confidante---the one person I count on, whether I like it or not, to tell me the brutal truth---" Don't you think you should do something different with your hair?", or " Have you put on a little weight?",or my favorite, "Why would you want to do that?" As we've grown older together, I've caught myself snapping back on occasion, with the typical child to parent rebuttal---"because I'm me, Mom, not you. " In other words," you're not the boss of me anymore!" Of course,I always feel guilty afterwards---but these things need to be said in order to define our changing roles with each other---at some point, all of us must leave the child behind, take a stand, and claim our independence to our parents. I think in some ways Mom and I are closer now than ever--- we know each other so thoroughly, faults and all, but have found our way to a deeper relationship--woman to woman, but always mother and daughter. She may not be the boss of me, but I will always seek her wisdom.

As I watch mom struggle with the inevitable ravages of old age, my heart breaks for her. We both know this is a battle she's going to lose, and the odds get worse with each passing year. Her heart is weak, she can only see out of one eye, and is in constant pain from a back condition. Still what is left is worth the battle----life never stops giving, even as it is taking away. And moms never wear out their welcome.

I wish I could think of something outrageously special to do for her birthday, like dancing clowns, or maybe even male strippers, but perhaps it will be enough to surround Mom with her family and a few friends---a circle of love to wrap her in with warm wishes and a toast for good health--- enough to see her through life's final chapters. I'm hoping the rest of her story will be filled with yet a few surprises, maybe even a new way of looking at things, a few grand slams in Bridge, or maybe even---a new love! They say that's what keeps you young---maybe I'll add that to my prayer. So, happy birthday, Mom---don't you be leaving us any time soon. Who's going to tell me to fix my hair or get over myself? Love you---

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HERE

You know those moments, hours, sometimes days that are so close to perfect that it almost frightens you? Moments or days that are so golden that it's like a tonic? Sometimes you get a taste of it, a glance, ---and it transports you to different time and place. But what if it is always there, that high that doesn't come from drugs, but perhaps does come from the smell of newly cut grass, or a lovely song, or the sight of children playing---or maybe just your own private epiphany that finally releases you from a guilt or worry? I have long suspected that there is a sort of parallel universe just waiting for us to live in it, when we finally allow ourselves to do so---a heaven right here on earth. "Seek and ye shall find", it is written, but we spend most our lives seeking, not finding.

A few years ago, a book titled, "The Secret", theorized that if you want something, you need only make it known to the universe, focus on that desire, and the universe will make it happen for you. Some people may call this prayer, but the author spoke of it more in terms of a magnetic, metaphysical response to one's wishes. In her view, it was a "secret" power that we all have, but don't use enough or in the right way. I decided to try it---I wished for something I had longed for and thought practically impossible. It worked! Within a short period of time my wish was granted, and then some. But maybe that's just the way positive thinking works---identify your wish, focus, and your mind begins to build bridges to get you there. It's a powerful thought, but so are our minds--- and so is the universe---and even more so, is the architect of it all. But, the old adage, "Be careful what you wish for", are words to be heeded. Think carefully before you open what may be a Pandora's Box, best left closed. On the other hand, employing "the secret" or wishing on a star ,is a lovely thought, and can bring great joy---life should not always be "good enough" or something to simply and only endure. Sometimes there is a serendipity kind of happening that can brighten your day or change your life; but there's also the possibility that a dream come true takes more than chance. It is just waiting for you on the other side of now, to be sought after, seen, and given to you---if only you'll ask, then take the steps to get there. And then, consider that you perhaps need not go anywhere---that there's magic and wonder all around---the glory of being is shimmering right in front our eyes, if only we'll see.

Studies have shown that the people in Denmark are the happiest because so many things are provided to them by the government. I personally think that's not a reliable fact, probably promoted by their chamber of commerce. Surely happiness is not derived from being the welfare recipients of a government. But who knows---maybe the Danes have discovered "the secret"!?

Some of the happiest, most fun people to be around are just naturally happy.Though money and security certainly help, some of these people are not the richest I have known---they are ordinary in their circumstances and have accepted that. Maybe it's an inherited gene, the happiness gene. I think it's a proven fact that some are born inclined to be more cheerful than others. I love being in the presence of those kinds of people---they seem to glow with an aura that says, all will be well, no matter what.

As we move ever deeper into this new century, there is much to worry about. But I will continue to wonder what's on the other side of my own self locked door---a shimmering universe, where "all is well" is the actual reality, and all else is the distorted illusion of life on this side of here? In the meantime, I now know "the secret", so I think I'll try it again---Paris, here I come!

ARIZONA, RIGHT OR WRONG??

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses longing to be free"---I've known those words as long as I've known, "and God created the heavens and the earth". They have always made me proud to be an American, and happy to part of our heritage and rich melting pot. So, how is it that we have become now a nation divided on that very concept? Broken or un-inforced laws are the culprits. Immigration and how to handle the problem of illegal immigrants entering our country have become a problem, not something to be proud of. Aren't they the tired, the poor, and certainly masses of them struggling to be free? Yes, on all counts---but at what point must we literally draw the line? Arizona has become the striking point for a national dialogue on this matter, when they recently legislated into law the right to ask for documentation proving legal immigration to this country. Over run by illegal immigrants,drug smuggling, sick of the violence that is happening more and more ,and impatient with the federal government not doing enough to stop the continuous invasion into their state, they have taken matters into their own hands. Do they have this right? Yes. States have sovereignty over the government in this case. But is it morally right? Could it result in perfectly innocent people being detained to "show us your papers", just by looking a certain way---or put another way, racial profiling? That is troubling, but where is the outrage regarding people who have no respect for our laws? I would hope that the Arizona officials will strongly prohibit the abuse of their new law, and it would seem that the very watchful public eye would prevent unfair practices pretty quickly.

It is a difficult and thorny issue, but it has become the next big divisive controversy facing this country. How much longer can we allow huge influxes of people into our land without proper processing and legal steps in order to curb further illegal, often free, use of our educational and medical services? To allow this to continue seems to make a mockery out of the laws already on the books and the immigrants that obediently follow the laws to become citizens. Once again, we find ourselves polarized against ourselves--one side for the immigrants, whose basic human rights they feel may be threatened; the other side fearing the consequences of an all too lax an attitude which results in too much expense ,violence, and out of control border invasion. There are those who believe that some politicians are motivated to disagree with harsher laws against legal immigrants in that it will either hurt them politically or garner minority votes for their future elections---depending on which team you play. And the rants from both sides go on and on.

We are the land of the free and still want to welcome those who are willing to wait their turn to enter legally----but we are no longer a country so open and without vulnerability that we can allow our borders to be crossed without grave concerns. The risk of those who wish us harm is too great, and the burden of caring for those who invade without proper channels is no longer affordable or acceptable. To those states,such as California ,who say we should boycott Arizona for taking steps to control an out of control problem, I have to say -- get over your self righteous selves. To do nothing more than the status quo is to prolong and side step an ever worsening situation. Let us have some respect and concern for our own people. This country is suffering from a huge economic down turn, the likes of which, we may never fully recover. We can no longer afford to look the other way, as we continue to care for people who don't pay their own way and allow them to take jobs away from others who are here legally, not to even mention the security risks involved. Give me your tired, your poor----but not at the expense of our own welfare.

Thumbs up, Arizona---it's time somebody has the guts to do something other than lip service. But we and the world will be watching as you walk the fine line between protecting your state and treading on the very basic principles that brought all of the original immigrants here. If that sounds slightly ambivalent, I am--it's a dicey issue with no perfect answers. And while we search for those answers--- it is heart wrenching to see our country convulsing with one assault after the other on the things that once made it the" shining city on a hill". As we continue to grapple with our problems and our differences, may we find a way to keep the lights of freedom on and our hill from being completely eroded---until there is no reason to want to come here.